I always thought women are pretty. All shapes, all sizes, all ages. Skinny women can fit into any dress size they want, they always look athletic even when they don't do anything. Bigger women on the other hand had something i always wanted, an ample bosom and butt, having the right equipment they always wore dresses that always looked very flowy and feminine. Older women I always admired because they had that I've been thru enough crap in this world i don't need to be bothered by your petty ideas and I will dress and be whoever I want, leave me alone attitude.
The thing is though being my 25 self, pressured by everyone around me being skinny I strived to be that person, 110lbs, exercising 4 days a week, eating rice only for lunch, outdoor activities every weekend. I did eventually get her, 5 years later I was at my peak, thing is what I noticed though is I lost what little butt and boobs I had, clothes didn't fit so well, so I took it back to 120, that seemed to be my happy medium. I was obsessed with numbers on the scale.
I made sure though I didn't become that annoying friend that always reminds everybody to exercise and eat healthy, I don't volunteer any information until they ask. I always thought we would die in our 80s or 90s and if you were happy eating cake everyday (this would be me if I had my way) who am I to stop you.
At 34 I got married and got more comfortable, we went biking every weekend, hiking the other days we don't bike we go on random trips, we were even learning snowboarding. I was a little concerned though that I was gaining weight, I didn't like it. It was more a matter of l like my clothes and don't want to buy new ones kind of thing.
And then I got sick. My feet started swelling, and then my tummy, none of my clothes really fit. To get to work i had to trade in my size 6 and 8 pants for size 12 and 13, my loungerie were now all xl, my short dresses became the long flowy stretchy ones to hide my swelling. And then to top it all off my face was not only puffing up from a lot of the medicine they were giving me but I was losing my hair too.
I stopped having my picture taken, I stopped swimming, biking and doing anything else because none of my exercise clothes fit. Easy fix you say, just buy new ones. I know I probably sound like I'm making excuses but when you wake up and feel like the world has been tipped over several times just to see if you'd fell dizzy you wouldn't want to do anything. When you look down at your legs and feet and they don't look like they're yours, you get discouraged. When bending to get something or just putting your socks on feels like you're doing it like a pregnant woman would do it, all you want to do is cry. When people start telling you you've added weight and should exercise and eat right and judge you like you ate too much ice cream and all you want to do is punch them in the face but you can't, all you do is cry inside while smiling in their face.
My point here is unless you know what the person is going through you should reserve judgements to yourself, even if they've just gained weight just because, you have no right to make them feel bad and push them to get skinny. Not everyone was meant to be a size 2. Everyone is beautiful.
