communication from men in trees

I love the show men in trees because like grey's anatomy they have the life's lessons in the end which is usually narrated by marin the writer... on this particular episode she spoke about communication which I found very appropriate for my situation...
   
the mind is a funny thing its the place from which everything emanates yet no one can access anyone else's which means we've got to communicate. With animals we use only the most straightforward language, words like sit, stay and no, but between one another things get complicated. What we say is not always what we mean and at times we have to fight through mixed messages, or start all over again. But no mater how hard it is or how often we feel mistunderstood it is our responsibility to keep fighting for clarity because in the end we teach ppl how to treat us, which means the responsibility to communicate lies not on the shoulders of others but on ourselves...

Man is condemned to be free

I was watching 'chopsuey' online and at the end of the movie I heard this quote...

"Man is condemned to be free."

According to a philosopher--
you're free to cry until your tears run dry.

You're free to say what you want to say
until you lose your voice.

You're free to fight back
until your body becomes numb.

And most of all,
you're free to love until it hurts,
'till you forget yourself.

Like a mist.
Like a scent.
Like a spark.
   
sigh...

last day in DC - 2:30 am =)

It's my last day in DC and as far as going home goes this is the least part of my vacation that I like.. I've had way too much fun here in DC.. too many nice people who made my vacation so much fun and worth it.. this is one vacation I can and will never forget.. this will be imprinted in my memory bank for all time..

Jon and Shay - thanks for welcoming me into your life.. I loved every minute of my vacation.. omg Julia was the best thing that happened to all of us.. I know I'm just a godmother but still... thanks for making me hers... John, mag-ingat ka sa pupuntahan mo.. you will always be in my prayers... ang saya sana kung kapitbahay ko kayo or at least you were in Oxnard I could swing by your house whenever you need me to be there =) or I need to be there hehehe.. I haven't left and I miss you guys already..

Evil Eric, Gats, Ann: omg you guys are the best.. I had fun taking pictures with you guys...  thanks for making my stay in DC so much fun...

Evil Eric: It was so much fun cooking with you master chef, dami kong natutunan sayo... pamatay ung buko pandan na un.. salamat sa recipe.. kung maalala ko pa hahaha... saka kahit na akong nag-hiwa ng lahat ng rekado ng pansit at palabok at reklamador ka and take note 2 hours ka nag break oks lang it was fun working with you... ang galing parang nakita ko ung ollie na guy version hahaha... ang saya nyan pag dating ng family mo handa na kagad ang mga kakainin nila hehehe.. wonderful food master chef =)

Gats, Ann: ang saya d ba you're gonna be in VA for the next 3 years =), at least you have these guys there with you to brighten up your day hehehe...

Mike: my ever wonderful partner in crime/brother/sister/confidante/mentor thanks for being with me on this wonderful and momentuous occassion.. I almost died when you said you couldn't come.. I hope you enjoyed your vacation too.. I certainly enjoyed mine because you were there =) Love you always...

wondering...

I don't think this song is appropriate for someone I know who is very happy right now.. pero I think this is the song that entered my head when I was given the good news because of the chorus hehehe =) Congratulations guys =)
 
Will you like to watch the sunrise
Will you have blue or brown eyes
What are the dreams you long to share

I hope you like Stevie Wonder
Are you afraid of thunder
I close my eyes and say a prayer your out there somewhere

Chorus:
I've been waiting all my life for you
I've been wishing on every shining star
I've been watching out of my window
Wondering where you are Wondering where you are

My heart's my only treasure
I've been saving it for your pleasure
I can't wait to give my heart to you

We'll walk this road together
That leads us to forever
I close my eyes and say a prayer your out there somewhere

Chorus

Too many nights alone
And this house won't be a home until I'm with you

I've been waiting all my life for you
I've been wishing on every shining star

Chorus

Wondering where you are Wondering where you are
Wondering where you are Wondering where you are

Wondering Where You Are - Tyrone Wells

excited

It's official!!!

I'm officially excited about my Washington trip enough to merit me not going to the gym today so I can go do whatever packing and errands I have to do.. yay!!!!

I know procastination is not good when you are going on a trip but yesterday not only did my lamp light get busted(the only light in my room), I felt blah yesterday too.. so now finally i'm into the excited I'm going to washington to see my friends phase..yay!!!

the serenity prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

three in one...

this is rare.. me blogging 3 times already today...hmmm..

I was just thinking that friends come is different packages and at different times.. and most of the time they know when to be there for you.. even the simplest hi and knowing that they are there can make your day... and just when you thought you were meant to endure stuff alone, they come in droves... it's funny how even some people you seldom talk to take the time to pick up the phone and leave scary messages on your phone that will make you laugh when you realise it's them (ileto-langya ka kala ko may stalker na ko last night, I just heard your voice mail)... and when you least expect it some people even stop and take time to listen... thanks...

to my gym buddies John and Tats and to Michelle: no I wasn't bored out of my skull when we guys went out.. I was drunk kaya ako tahimik hahaha... thanks for taking me out.. I needed the break... too much gym is making me thin anyway bwahaha...

to the rage/max gang: I love dancing with you guys.. let's just not do 2 nights in a row again.. sobrang naubos energy ko doon.. hahaha... sarah good luck on ur singing career.. pinapatanong ng erpat ko gusto mo daw sumama sa banda? hehehe.. miss ka na namin sa mega...

to my officemate/friend/dancing buddy/cute guy watching partner Jaysson: I know you won't be reading this but thanks anyway for being there everyday for me.. lalo na pag naloloka na ko k tatay hahaha.. but not only for that but for all the laughs and the tears we've shared... omg I can't even imagine not being officemates with you.. so yes we will come as a package deal if ever I decide to move hahaha...

to my best friend, sister, soul mate Apple: I forgot how good it was to just sit down and talk about anything and everything..and eat chocolate chip calzone..yummy.... It's just sad that it always takes a momentuous/mind boggling/life changing event for us to do this often.. omg I miss your apartment in Alhambra hahaha...

Anyway this blog is beginning to sound more and more like a eulogy and a memento so I'll stop here hahaha.. but thanks guys for spending last week with me.. I had so much fun..

what the heck

this video made me laugh out loud, I just wonder where my cousin got this from.. hehehe... enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

so out of tune

Omg I saw the video of how I sang in Kbox last night and I was so embarassed, It was drunk Ollie singing..ewww... it was scary hahaha.. anyway that's not what this blog is all about...       

I was talking to Apple last night and we were talking about stuff as usual and eating chocolate chip calzone, omg I forgot how it made me feel calm, mellow and at peace(I wanted to sleep right there and then, but we were at a restaurant haha).. anyway the last thing I remembered we were saying was akin ka na lang and apple singing that verse.. so this morning I looked for it in youtube and omg was I out of tune when it came to Filipino music and artists.. I never heard of this song before and I was surprised I liked it.. Itchyworms rocks haha.. I know I'm years behind.. I need to catch up on my Filipino music... I got disgusted when everyone started doing revivals, the whole thing threw me off, why do revivals when you can sing your own song...

Akin ka na lang - Itchyworms

Intro

Verse 1
‘Wag kang maniwala d’yan. ‘Di ka n’ya mahal talaga
Sayang lang ang buhay mo kung mapupunta ka lang sa kanya
Iiwanan ka lang n’yan, mag-ingat ka
Dagdag ka lamang sa milyun-milyong babae n’ya

Chorus
Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)
Iingatan ko ang puso mo
Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)
Wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo

Verse 2
‘Di naman ako bolero katulad ng ibang tao
Ang totoo’y pag nandyan ka medyo nabubulol pa nga ako
Malangis lang ang dila n’yan, ‘wag kang madala
Dahan-dahan ka lang, baka pati ika’y mabiktima (’Wag naman sana)

Repeat Chorus

Refrain
‘Di naman sa sinisiraan ko ang pangit na ‘yan
‘Wag ka dapat sa’kin magduda, hinding-hindi kita pababayaan!

Repeat Chorus

Akin ka na lang
Liligaya ka sa pag-ibig ko
Akin ka na lang
At wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo
Wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo (akin ka na lang)

What I want for my funeral

I know it's morbid but I was listening to this song on my itunes and I was thinking this is what I want on my funeral with a power point presentation of all the pictures I took all these years... it's like my tribute to everyone who has touched my life.. I know most people put this as their wedding song but hey I can put this at my funeral too right hahaha...I have a few of them lined up already but this the one I like best now =)

I could not ask for more - Edwin Mccain

Lying here with you, listening to the rain.
Smiling just to see a smile upon your face.
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I found all I've waited for and I could not ask for more.
Looking in your eyes, seeing all I need.
Girl, I think you are it's everything to me.
These are the moments I know heaven must exist.
These are the moments I know all I need is this.
I have all I've waited for and I could not ask for more.

[Reff:]
I could not ask for more than this time together.
I couldn't ask for more that this time with you.
Every breath has been answered. Every dream that has come through.
Yeah, right here in this moment, it's that we're all meant to be.
(Oh) here with you, here with me.

And these are the moments I thank God that I'm alive.
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I've got all I've waited for and I could not ask for more.

[Repeat Reff]

I could not ask for more than the love you gave me
cos it's all I've waited for.
And I could not ask for more.

sometimes

Sometimes....

I wished I smoked... just to relieve the tension and stress that I feel... not that I want to start the habit but just having something to do... nowadays I turn to the gym to turn my aggravation and frustration into positive energy but it seems I get too restless too easy, I get upset too easy, I get the feeling of discontent too easy and tears flow too freely...

I just wish I could just get up and leave.. leave everything behind me.. and just start anew...

I just wish I knew what the future holds so I can just get straight there and skip all the sordid details of how to get there.. hahaha.. too impatient...

I just wish everything would be easier..

Too much of nina

I think I had too much of nina.. she's transferring her energy to me which makes me sigh alot these days...

who knows maybe I miss Jun or maybe not...

Is it really rare for a guy to say I miss you a girl most of the time? I was talking to one of my guy best friends and he's like you should be happy he says that he misses you it's rare for guys these days to admit that they miss you... I don't know writing something is different from saying... I just feel blah and I'm getting something different from this time away from one another... In short I don't miss him as much as I thought I would.. I think I need more time away now with me on vacation too.. coz you see it's hard when people ask how he is and I can't give a concrete answer coz not only is he not enthusiastic to talk to on the phone but we don't have any stories to swap anymore.. it's been just blah.. when I'm anxious to talk to him and tell him my stories he has something else to top it off with that's more depressing or more awesome mine can't compare and I'd just clam up and not talk about it.. I didn't notice it before but were we like this even before he left? sigh.. I can't even talk to anyone close to me right now everyone's busy I just want to break down and cry.. cry coz im so tired of this job.. cry coz i want a vacation i can't have.. cry because im so tired i just want to lie on the beach and do nothing.. sigh... I'm 30 and I think I'm having my mid life crisis hahaha... sigh...