Do you memorize theatrical lines
that seem to lead them in
Play the role with the good girl heart
oh the tangled web within
Who was it that lead you on
that made you want to hurt me so
Who are you out to forget
who's forgot you long ago

Do you still feel it
calling in the act tonight
do you still feel it
seems like you've done this before
You make breaking hearts look so easy
seem like you've done this before
You've got breaking hearts all but down
and you've done this, you've done this before
You make stealing hearts look so easy
Where is the girl I adore
You've got breaking up all but down
I can't love a thief anymore

Do you collect the souls you've lost
in the top of your dresser drawer
count the number of tears displaced
on lonely bedroom floors
where the shape of your heart once was
slowly takes the place of you
will they hold the memories now
of the love I though I knew

Do you still feel it
calling in the act tonight
Do you still feel it
Seems like you've done this before
You make breaking hearts look so easy
seems like you've done this before
You've got breaking up all but down
and you've done this, you've done this before
You make stealing hearts look so easy
Where is the girl I adore
You've got breaking up all but down
and I can't love a thief anymore

You make breaking hearts look so easy
You've got breaking up all but down
You make breaking hearts look so easy
Seems like you've done this before
You've got breaking hearts all but down
You've done this, you've done this before

The most you could hope to be
now just a bitter sweet memory

Breaking - Anberlin

Hold on,
What's the rush? What's the rush?
We're... not done away
Cause I don't need to change this...
Atmosphere we made if you can stay one more hour
Can you stay one more hour?
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find the time to catch you and, and make you stay

Hold on
I'll be here when it's
All done you know
Cause what's the point in chasing
If I can't enjoy your face and
We can be wrong tonight
Can we be wrong tonight?

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find the time to catch you and, and make you stay
I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

And if I was running you'd be the one who I would be running to
And if I was crying you would be lying on the cloud that would pull me through
And if I was scared than I would be glad to tell you and walk away
I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way into you

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find the time to catch you and, and make you stay
I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me
You know I'm gonna find the time to catch you and, and make you stay
I don't care what clothes you wear, it's time to love and I don't care
You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have your way with me

And if I was running
And if I was crying
And if I was scared

You know I'm gonna find a way to let you have
Your way with me

Find A Way - Safetysuit

firegirl...

I just read the book by Tony Abbott entitled Firegirl and my question is, are you ever really the same person once somebody touches your heart?

I have been drawn to reading kids and young adult books these days where there is magic and adventure. Once I read through romance novels like they were going out of style, I had to read them one after another, I wanted and needed romance in my life.. but of course the sleeping princess always wakes up and here I am.. I know that these romance novels hold nothing true.. there is no rich, good looking, arrogant, sweet, sensitive guy that sweeps you off your feet.. blah! none of the regulars have all those characteristics... anyway i'm straying away from my topic...

each and everyone of us has had someone touch their heart in one way or another... my question is were you a willing participant or just a bystander? the book is about a regular middle school boy faced with a challenge to step up and be different... to reach out and be nice to a girl who has been burned beyond recognition... the boy teaches us that sometimes or most of the time we are presented with scary stuff we don't want to deal with and most of the time these scary stuff are what molds us and shapes us as a person... being a grownup we are faced with scary things to deal with all the time... from dating to changing jobs to taxes to decisions that could alter our lives forever, but it is in the dealing with this scary stuff that we learn that things aren't as scary as they are projected to be.. our mind plays tricks on us... we have to step out of this box we have created and live life to the fullest... the boy in the story will never be the same... neither will I...

Tinapay ng Buhay

KORO:
Ikaw, Hesus, ang tinapay ng buhay
Binasbasan, hinati't inialay
Buhay na ganap ang sa ami'y kaloob
At pagsasalong walang hanggan

Basbasan ang buhay naming handog
Nawa'y matulad sa pag-aalay Mo
Buhay na laan nang lubos
Sa mundong sa pag-ibig ay kapos (KORO)

Marapatin sa kapwa maging tinapay
Kagalakan sa nalulumbay
Katarungan sa naaapi
At kanlungan ng bayan Mong sawi (KORO)

---i love this song.. they sing it at mass every sunday

discover...

Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

one reason...

Hmm... I love this song.. and I'm watching Tyrone Wells on Thursday wahooo... sigh I love it when he serenades me.. yeah yeah yeah just not me but who cares.. I'm there, he's there and he has a guitar, so he's serenading me hahaha... if only he didn't have a wife hehehe...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You're not an angel and I'm not the perfect man but you know I love you
So why won't you let me in

Give me one reason to stay and I'll stay
Give me one reason to leave and I'll leave
I don't need you to be me
I'll be just fine being free
Yeah
I'll be just fine being free

You're like a shadow that I cannot hold on to
I'm not a prison
I cannot tie you down

Give me one reason to stay and I'll stay
Give me one reason to leave and I'll leave
I don't need you to be me
I'll be just fine being free
Yeah
I'll be just fine being free
Oh

And I'll be alright without you on my side
I'll still sleep at night but don't make me have to

Give me one reason
Give me one reason

Give me one reason to stay and I'll stay
Give me one reason to leave and I'll leave
I don't need you to be me
I'll be just fine being free
I'll be just fine being free
Yeah
I'll be just fine being free
Yeah
I'll be just fine being free

Give Me One Reason - Tyrone Wells & Jason Reeves

Lovin' Tigger

The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!

But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one
Tiggers are cuddly fellas
Tiggers are awfully sweet
Ev'ryone el-us is jealous
That's why I repeat... and repeat

The wonderful thing about tiggers
Is tiggers are marvelous claps!
They're loaded with vim and vigor
They love to leap in your laps!
They're jumpy, bumpy, clumpy, thumpy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!

But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
I'm the only one
I-I-I'm , the only... oof!
Ouch!

it just wasn't my day...

As I go and read more stories everyday and get immersed in the books I read I ask myself... am I just another book being written? am I really the author here or just a mere character in a story that's already been written and just waits to be read so the story can unfold...

It started as another one of those monday blues-y kind of days, I wasn't in the mood to go to work. I just had one day off, let me go to the beach please hahaha.. anyway there I was in my sullen mood, feeling like it was cloudy and 20 degrees outside instead of sunny and 100 degrees...

I have a stalker at work, this old dude that I never remember paying attention to who calls me gorgeous everyday... it started out with him asking if florence and I were sister, so I thought he was interested in Florence hahaha.. now he calls me gorgeous every single day and he has resorted to touching too.. I turned around and pretended I didn't see him when I put a book on a cart behind me and he held my elbow and asked me how i was.. i told him i was ok... ugh.. creepy...

Psycho patron number 1.. he starts by saying someone was creating chaos in the men's bathroom.. I tell my boss and she looks into it by sending one of our male employees, there was nothing there, just tissue on the floor and no soap on the dispenser.. yeah chaos... so i point him out 'coz she wanted to ask him if he saw anything... he tells her he didn't say anything when she asked then started attacking me when she left.. told me i shouldn't repeat anything he says.. uhm am i your servant? go away hahaha.. of course i didn't say that.. told him i had to 'coz what if something was really happening there...then he started saying cursing and all that.. told him to have a good day and gave him his stuff... which i think angered him 'coz i tried to dismiss him.. and i told him to leave 'coz he was creating chaos right now... hahaha..  sicko was yelling and telling me to go back to my country 'coz he was born here hahaha... calling me names..  pathetic... when i saw his account, dude you're not even really from here so stop being a fake.. he was sick and i was rattled when i got back to the back room...i was scared he was gonna do something to me... i would have been fine had it been another day... they said he was asking them to get me out and face him so he would know what my problem was. dude, you're my problem hahaha... it was just sweet that the patrons, our regulars were watching and waiting what would happen(they got my back) and they pointed him to my boss when she got out there and confronted him... she called the cops on him hahaha... =P...crawly...

I love my co-workers.. this is one reason why even if I can move to china town which is 5 mins away from me I am thinking twice about it... they sensed I wasn't myself today and they tried to make me smile.. they did.. by the time creepy and crawly came to the circ desk I was better than when I started... thanks guys...

so now after eating ice cream which always makes me feel better i can say that creepy and crawly better not be there tomorrow 'coz I will come prepared to kick ass hahaha...

sleep...

I think I figured it out by now... my body wakes up by itself after 5 hours hahaha.. or maybe not i'm just trying to find reasons why i freaking wake up in the freaking middle of the night no matter how tired i was the previous day.. stress, boys(or should i say men hehehe) or is it just me hehehe...tut tut too many factors.. but i know my upcoming trips keep me excited.. so more plans to go to places i've always wanted to go to.. and i think this time they are gonna push through.. no more boys to stop me from doing what i want hahaha...

next on my agenda:
mexico - mayan and aztec ruins - my mexican friends are coming in handy for this wahoo.. 6 nights for $641 for hotel and airfair is not bad... and we're gonna be in cancun most of the time how sweet is that.. when to go there is my problem hehehe...

euro trip - i can go until 2012, 'coz that's when jon will still be there hehehe.. so i can postpone it or take it for next year.. or on my honeymoon hahaha.. whenever that'll be hahaha...i wanted to end up either in spain or in greece =)

pinas trip - i have to do this before my niece and nephew out grow me hahaha...

chicago trip - i know sis this has been brewing for what almost 3 years now hahaha.. sorry these boys are keeping me away from you hehehe.. i won't let them anymore.. i will take that trip even if i stay there for 3 days only =).. i need a new pin on my map hahaha it's been a while...

weddings - 2 in cali and 1 out of town.. should i buy my ticket already louie.. NC.. hmm maybe i can take that florida trip too hahaha.. mike are you coming with me to florida? oh wait is that hurricane season already.. drat.. let me research about NC then wahoooo.. a new pin on my map...

people...

Sometimes, you need to experience everything so that you would learn. There's no easy way in living life so live it as it is. Cry. Laugh. Be crazy. And don't miss the chances that life is giving you because the most important things are not things at all. Most of the time, they are PEOPLE making your life worth living..

---copied from Jane's FB status =)

decision making

My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose - somehow we win out.

-Ronald Reagan

=============

Plan your progress carefully; hour-by hour, day-by-day, month-by-month. Organized activity and maintained enthusiasm are the wellsprings of your power.

-Paul J. Meyer

=============

It's just as simple as if you want it to work out it will, if not, there are no ways to convince you otherwise....

""Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will.""

~ Dr. Robert Anthony

on letting go...

i found this on a friend's FB page...

to let go even if you still want to hold on,,, because sometimes the person you want the most is the person that you're better off without...

Words for Women to Live By!

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet.. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality..

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok.  They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember wherever there is a good looking,sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are hard.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

'Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there'.
'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live today'.

Live...Laugh...Love!

forgiveness...

i know i'm watching too much of grey's anatomy and it's seeping into my dreams.. what can you do i love that show.. it gives me good quotes that i can post here.. take note i don't just take them from the website... i listen to the quotes, write them down and play back the dvd if i don't catch the words right.. there.. labor of love or just plain grey's anatomy addiction hahaha...

==========================

forgive and forget
that's what they say
it's good advice but it's not very practical
when someone hurts us we want to hurt them back
when someone wrongs us we want to be right
without forgiveness old scores are never settled, old wounds never heal
and the most we can hope for is that one day we'll be lucky enough to forget
-meredith grey(grey's anatomy)

==========================

sometimes it's easy enough to say i forgive you just for the heck of it, just because that is what people want to hear...but when you really mean it and the forgiveness really sinks in then that is when you will feel peace.. peace within, with the people who have wronged you and the world around you... life is good..

did you say it?
i love you
i dont want to ever live without you..
you changed my life
did you say it?

make a plan
set a goal
work toward it
but every now and then look around
drink it in
coz this is it
it might all be gone tomorrow

-meredith grey

grey's anatomy

not your ordinary love...

This could have been just another day
But instead we're standing here
No need for words, it's all been said
In the way you hold me near
I was alone on this journey
You came along to comfort me
Everything i want in life is right here

Chorus:
'cause this is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
I was not prepared enough
To fall so deep in love
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
You were the first to touch my heart
Made everything right again
With your extraordinary love

I get so weak
When you look at me
I get lost inside your eyes
Sometimes the magic is hard to believe
But you're here before my weary eyes
You brought joy to my world
Set me so free
I want you to understand
You are every breath that i breathe

Chorus:
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
I was not prepared enough
To fall so deep in love
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
You were the first to touch my heart
Made everything right again
With your extraordinary love

From the very first time that we kissed
I knew that i just couldn't let you go at all
From this day on, remember this:
That you're the only one that i adore
Can't we make this last forever
This can't be a dream
'cause it feels so good to me

Chorus:
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
I was not prepared enough
To fall so deep in love
This is not your ordinary
No ordinary love
You were the first to touch my heart
Made everything right again
With your extraordinary love

no ordinary love - mymp

grey's anatomy - elevator love letter

trauma always leaves a scar

it follows us home

it changes our lives

trauma messes everybody up
but maybe thats the point
all the pain and the fear and the crap
maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward
it's what pushes us
maybe we have to be a little messed up
before we can step up

i love the video to this song... and the accoustic too.. eventhough she reminds me a little of feist

-------------------

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust
I know this is love
But, if I tell the world
I'll never say enough
Cos it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do
If I end up with you

[Chorus]
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waitin' as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it

[Chorus]
Or should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere.. yeah..

Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
should I leave it there
Should I give up
Or should I just keep on chasin' pavements
Should I just keep on chasin' pavements
Ohh oh

[Chorus]
Or should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there
Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

Chasing Pavements - Adele

Compliments...

I went to work yesterday thinking ugh I'm working tonight again... I looked out my window and tried to gauge the temp in my room and figured it would be warm enough for me to wear slacks, as it has been hot the past few days...i know my room is not a good indication of the weather but hey i think I was right this time hehehe..
so there I was wearing my slacks and a pink wool top I had, minding my business and taking care of the magazine stacks when one of our patrons compliments me that i looked nice.. I was thinking wow.. my angel for the day... I was bored and didn't know what to do with the time I had, I needed to appear busy 'coz my boss was there and she was still doing my evaluations.. not that I would stop looking for stuff to do but still I didn't want her to catch me doing nothing... well she still found me and gave me stuff to do which was ok, it'll keep me busy for the next 3 hours, i was thinking when this other patron came from nowhere complimenting me again, how nice I looked, asking me if I went out on a date or was I going somewhere that's why I was looking so nice today... I told him yeah I went to the library today hehehe... =), the other guy came back and asked me what happened today too, said i was hot and sexy today it makes him think of taking me out on a date... whoa hahaha..that's where it stops hehehe....i told him no you don't need to do that...

I was thinking dang people are being extra nice to me today, hmmm I wonder what's up... did I tip the scales on the good side today hehehe... do they see I'm happy that's why they keep on complimenting me? and as I stood there I was thinking, this dressed up? I just put this on last minute and didn't even think about it... maybe the color suited me... but still, I never even gave any thought on what I wore, I just made sure I wasn't naked going to the library hahaha.. and I was thinking damn I didn't fix myself up and already I have 3 guys complimenting me... yeah there is one more... david my co-worker kept saying I was looking beautiful today, well everyday he does that but today he said i looked special.. I just rolled my eyes at him...
I had three angels yesterday working overtime to make me feel special, I do feel special, oh there is this one girl too, she said she liked my necklace, it looked good on me =).. I have 3 diamond pendants on my necklace, one is the letter O, a birthday gift from my mom, the other one is a heart with 2 other hearts inside, I chose the design but my mom gave it as a bday gift too and the third one is from Reiven, it's the Jerusalem cross encased inside a round glass with diamonds on the outside which makes the cross inside move, it's very unique just like the ring he gave me last September...


oh wait they weren't the only ones making me feel special I almost forgot about the one who made me happy so early in the morning and who started all the niceness yesterday, it was Reiven, just talking to him on the phone everyday and hearing his voice makes my day.. so there I think it started when I woke up and spilled into the library hehehe =)

I know that this post would seem like I'm vain or something but I would be lying if I said that I didn't like being complimented on how I looked... dang I didn't even fix my hair, gloss my lips or put eyeliner on.. wait 'til I do all that hahaha....

song in my head

ok so this song has been bugging me all day... Mike first told me about how nice this song was a few years ago already... and I liked it but it never really stuck to me before.. probably because it never really had any meaning before..

-=-=-=-=-=-

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this **much** is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If you're not the one - Daniel Beddingfield

Cleaning my room...

Cleaning my room to make room for new shelves was a good thing to do, here's what I learned...


- My 10 day New York-Boston trip album last 2002? was more finished than I thought it was.. I just have day 9 and day 10 to work on and yay I can show it to everyone.. I just saw some pictures I never remembered I knew, omg I need to find that CD Louie burned for me...


- I missed Louie and Mike more now than before.. guys what happened to our U.S.A. state tripping?


- 7 years is a long time ago hahaha.. and we all looked young in those pictures, not that we don't look young now but dang... need to post the collage soon.. I know I just need time and inspiration...


- I am a clutterbug if there ever was a word... I kept bills from 2005 and it's just sitting there, gathering dust and piling up =).. so it's time to shred everything.. we need master shredder hehehe... cowa bunga!


- I forgot I had a planner, 2004, where I pasted all the movie tickets and places I went to before.. nice huh.. but it wasn't complete.. =(.. better make a new one hehehe...I remember my planner days.. that was awesome.. it has alot of memories.. I look at them fondly now.. the only problem is some of the receipts I used scotch tape on to laminate were ruined and now has nothing on it hahaha...


- finding old music cd's makes you remember that part of your life you'd rather forget hehehe.. omg Jovi you were around during my Gloc 9 days so ok forget just some of them hehehe....

-=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-

Habang tumutunog ang gitara sa 'kin, makinig ka sana
Dumungaw ka sa bintana na parang isang harana
Sa awit na aking i-sinulat ko kagabi
'Wag sanang magmadali at 'wag kang mag-atubili dahil...

Kahit na wala akong pera
Kahit na butas aking bulsa
Kahit pa maong ko'y kupas na
At kahit na marami d'yang iba

Ganito man ako (maniwala ka sana sa akin)
Simpleng tao (na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Ang maipagyayabang ko lang sa 'yo (my love)

[Chorus:]
Pag-ibig ko sa 'yo na 'di magbabago
At kahit na anong bagyo, ika'y masusundo
Ganito lang ako (maniwala ka sana sa akin)
Simpleng tao (na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Na umaasa hanggang ngayon

Hindi mo namang kailangan ang sagutin
Ang aking hinihiling
Nais na maparating
Na 'di na muli pang dadaloy ang luha
Pupunasan nang kusa
'Di kailangang manghula
Kahit pamasahe lang ang palagi kong dala
Upang makasama ka
Kapag nakikita ka
Lagi kang aalalayan kahit ano man ang 'yong
Mga ibinubulong
Malalim pa sa balon
Ito lamang ang...

[Chorus 1x]

[Verse 2:]
Kay Spider-Man o kay Batman
Kay Superman o Wolverine
Kahit 'di maintindihan
Baka sakaling pansinin

Ganito lang ako (maniwala ka sana sa akin)
Simpleng tao (na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Ang maipagyayabang ko lang sa 'yo (my love)

(Pag-ibig) Ko sa 'yo, ito'y totoo
Wala nang iba, ikaw at ako
Lang ang nasa isip at panaginip
'Pag nakikita ka, sasabihin ko'y

Nawawala, ikaw na nga
Ang dahilan kung bakit nasulat ko ang tulang
Kahit kanino ay aking maipagyayabang
Minamahal kita subalit tanggapin mo sana kahit...

Ganito lang ako (maniwala ka sana sa akin)
Simpleng tao (na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Ang maipagyayabang ko lang sa 'yo (my love)

[Chorus:]

Pag-ibig ko sa 'yo na 'di magbabago
At kahit na anong bagyo, ika'y masusundo
Ganito lang ako (maniwala ka sana sa akin)
Simpleng tao (na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Na umaasa hanggang ngayon sa pag-ibig mo

Sa pag-ibig mo
Sa pag-ibig mo
(Maniwala ka sana sa akin)
(Na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Sa pag-ibig mo
(Maniwala ka sana sa akin)
(Na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Sa pag-ibig mo
(Maniwala ka sana sa akin)
(Na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)
Sa pag-ibig mo
(Maniwala ka sana sa akin)
(Na ikaw ang lagi kong dalangin)

Simpleng Tao - Gloc 9

not koo koo just happy...

Every day since I can remember I would always wake up with a song in my head. Mind you this does not mean I'm crazy, I'm just.. hearing music in my head just like August Rush... I always felt the music in my heart. The only instrument I can say I'm kinda good at is the guitar and I only play when I'm inspired. Music has been in my family for a long time and it started with my dad and now it's with my brothers.. when people ask me what my place is with the band I say to them I'm the manager.. I think I have an ok voice, just enough to beat people at karaoke hahaha but not to perform, I sound horrible when I try too hard hehehe...


Anyway I woke up this morning with "One Last Cry" in my head... lovely melody, lovely tune but too sad for me.. I'm done crying, I was happy today as I have been for the past week.. got through the kinks in my life and it's time to start a new chapter so this song wasn't a good one for me so as I was driving to work I asked for another song a happy one(no I wasn't talking to myself, I was on the phone) and guess what popped into my head.. "When you're happy and you know it clap your hands...when you're happy and you know it and you surely want to show it, when you're happy and you know it clap your hands...." hehehe.. there goes me and my over-active imagination...


What a nice way to start the day...

men and their tools...

I love how men given a nice camera will take a lot of pictures of their gf/wife at any setting and at any time...and mind you they not only point and shoot, they know how to bring out the beauty in the surroundings that highlight their wives/gf... now where do i find that kind of guy...

Downtown...

After running few errands yesterday I went to downtown to visit my old boss.. Walking down the halls made me feel like I still worked there.. the same old people greeted me hi and asked how I was.. it was nice.. I felt like I wanted to belong there again.. but then again NOT... as usual on a very unusual day I found angels everywhere... I call them my angels 'coz they never cease to amaze me how every time I needed cheering up they are there.. and on this particular day I was very happy.. woke up happy, the sun was shining and everything felt good.. I had the law of attraction working with me...Even though I had one minor glitch everything seemed to move into place...


Started off by going to my orthodontist to have him look and see if finally he has decided to remove my braces which seems to just give me a scratched and bruised mouth these days.. what's new? ever since I got them it's been that way.. I think I have calluses in my mouth already hahahaha...


Went to the bank to deposit my checks.. I know I've been slacking and forgot to deposit last month's pay check hehehe... opppss.. then there I was I forgot the envelope in my other bag... had to go back home to get them but hey, it's a very wonderful glorious day and I wanted to be out in the sun.. and there you go I got my wish hehehe... so off I went.. home and back again...


On my way to the salon I saw this rather older guy staring at me.. I started fussing with my face in fear of having something there that I didn't see.. something probably from the dental appointment hehehe...ewww... but no, he had this appreciative glance then he said hi.. i'm like wow there goes my first angel... ego booster hehehe.. then at the salon I met Jasmine's mom, tita was saying how I looked good, wow and I haven't even had my eyebrows done yet.. angel #2.. she was saying that she was glad I was happier now and how things are falling into place.. that I looked better off without my ex... I told her I'd rather not talk about him and care about him anymore... she told me how she liked my outlook better now... nice... thanks tita..


I had to hurry off 'coz I was bringing my mom lunch so I sped off to buy Jollibee chicken joy and siopao from Chowking.. I know Filipino restaurants huh hehehe... I love it.. even though Jollibee upped their prices and it's not worth to eat there anymore.. but hey I'm bringing my mom lunch, so only the best for my mom =).... and I was home again for the 2nd time just to drop of some food...


I parked 3 blocks away from my old building to save money which I think killed my feet hahaha...The parking attendant was nice enough not to be rude when I asked for a discount, which I didn't get but still at least he didn't ruin my day... so off I went in my cutoff jeans and layered top to meet my old boss...


Angel #3. Lupe saw me walking toward our old office and she hollered at me to see if it was really me, so we got to talking about my new work and all that.. she made me smile alot when I still used to work with my boss she calls "grouch".. that alone made me smile.. at least I'm not the only one who thought he was grouchy hahaha...


Met with my boss and Jaysson who acted like he didn't know me.. tse hahaha.. just kidding hahaha... anyway had a pleasant time there talking about my boss and his baby and his wife... I saw he was stressed but he was coping.. not like before when he used to scream everyday.. whew good thing I'm out of there...


Angel #4. Rinatte and I became friends better than when we used to work together...I couldn't stand her bossy little ass before but now we call each other bi*tch so we're good.. it's always nice to visit with her.. and congratulations!!! she is now engaged.. get married already and invite me hahaha...


Angel #5. I saw him as I was going to Abba(he's a jeweler me and my boss call dad hehehe). He was staring just like the old dude.. then he was smiling telling me I looked good.. I got flattened errr.. flattered 'coz it came from someone I didn't know.. then he stopped and asked me "can I be your bf?".. that made my smile wider.. yeah buddy that's the way to pick up girls hahaha.. but hey I didn't do anything special, I just took a bath hahaha.. so I walked on and went into Abba's office where I was showered with more praises and happy greetings... these are my pips hahaha...


yes, I miss being in dowtown with all my angels.. oh wait I have angels in the library too.. but that's another blog altogether hehehe...


thank you Lord for making my day....


Trivia: What's the difference between dowtown and the library?
Nothing 'coz I have the Armenians complaining about their fines, Indians who are quietly doing their business in the library, sans turban and long beards coz I encounter kids mostly, then I have the Jewish people who seem to know everything, the Spanish people who just like the Filipinos are happy, noisy people.. the only perk I have from the library aside from the unlimited resource on books is working with the kids.. I love having them around me and working with them.. I have my crew already, Jorge, Elmer and I forgot her name.. they hang around for scary stories hehehe...=)

Waited by the phone all day
Thinkin' that you'd call
But you never did, oh no
You are different from before
Now you made me insecure
Like you never did, oh no


Tell me it's not over now, will you?
So I won't be hangin' around
And you won't see me crying


Ooh, ooh


Oh, girl, you've got it wrong
You've been thinking all along
But I've really changed, oh babe
My love's been knockin' at your door
Do you hear it?
Do you really, really care?


Tell me it's not over now, will you?
So I won't be hangin' around
And you won't see me crying


Ooh, ooh


Take me into your sweet loving arms
Let's make love like we've never done before
Like we've never done before


Tell me it's not over now, will you?
So I won't be hangin' around
And you won’t see me crying..


Tell me it's not over now, will you?
say you love me say it loud


Say you love me say it loud
And you won’t see me crying
You won’t see me crying


you won't see me crying - passage

my own backyard....

I know I haven't been happy lately and more and more I've been itching to go to San Francisco more often than I am supposed to.. the pull is so strong a lot of people wonder if I have a lover tucked somewhere out there.. maybe San Francisco is my lover...

Let me count how many times I've been there last year...
5-31-08 San Francisco Weekend- where I met VJ(the love of my life if he were straight-er) hehehehe...
6-28-08 to 6-29-08 San Francisco Pride/Getaway
8-2-08 to 8-3-08 Rage gang goes to visit the Castro gang
12-20-08 to 12-21-08  Christmas visit with the Castro gang ang Thesz and John


omg I thought I was there more times than I should have been but hey 4 is a big number hahaha.. then again I went there just last week 1-17-09 to 1-19-09 to visit my best friend LJ from Canada.. we had a blast.. I know I said it in my previous blog already but I can't get enough of the fact that now I really know the ins and outs of San Francisco... we did it by bart and muni.. and it was way too much fun I can't stop speaking about it...


So now I wonder why can't I have the same feeling here in L.A. why can't I be happy in my own backyard? maybe because the train system here is f*ckd up? or maybe it's just me... I just feel like the train doesn't really reach the very important parts of the city.. or maybe I just haven't been on the train like I've been in San Francisco.. let me add that to my things to do.. ride the Metro Train for a day and be like a tourist... that would be fun.. I can't wait.. but sometimes it's more fun when you get lost with someone...


Don't get me wrong I have lot's of friends here in L.A. but lately everyone has a thing of their own.. I don't blame them.. we always had a thing of our own before and met up once in a while.. maybe I'm just bored and I have nothing to do.. my schedule s*cks right now and I go home at 8pm some nights which messes u my gym schedule and my routines.. maybe I should start swimming again.. that usually calms me down.. or revs me up whatever way you want to look at it...


oh speaking of being bored I have a winter sport lined up every wednesday, bowling, hehehe... yeah I know lame hahahaha... I don't like being out in the cold unless John and Tats can convince me to go skiing one of these days.. I hate the cold and the minimal time it takes for me to run from my car to the parking lot is enough for me to get cold hahahaha.... I know I should be acclimatized by now but hell no.. my body temp I think is still longing for the Phils. temp...


I just hope it gets warmer soon.. I know we need the rain, rain is good, rain helps the environment but can't it be summer already... summer summer summer... maybe I should make a sun dance just like the rain dance hahahaha...


oh speaking of backyards i think the grass is always greener on somebody else's backyard... so the allure might be there for san francisco only 'coz I don't live there.. I hate the rain and it rains there half the time.. icks, talk about cold weather...

torniquet

I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

I want to die!!!

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide

Torniquet - Evanescence

comforting...

San Francisco will always hold a special place in my heart, far as it may be, the magnetic pull will always be there for me whenever i need to relax, have fun or just plain recover.. there is something magical about the way San Francisco is, busy with all the tourists around.. and of course there are my friends.. some i've known years and some i've knows months..

I just spent 2 days there yet I feel like it's been a week.. I love how you can ride the train and the bus to anywhere inside the city.. and yes this time around I am the tourist guide again... but we opted to take the tourist route, meaning no car just the bart and the muni to take us everywhere... which i will tell you is way too much fun than just driving your car to get to everywhere.. where you'll have fun in spending time with your friends... i missed riding the bus back home... that's where you bond with your friends, learn more about them and get to say more than hello and hi...

LJ came to San Francisco and we had fun, walking 4 blocks hillside all the way to Lombard then back down again... eating 3 times in 1 night... having drinks.. talking about life (mostly mine).. and spending time with mari... I hope he had fun... lipat ka na kasi dito from Canada hahaha...

comforting as San Francisco may be(I will be there again soon, and mari let's not drive)  landing in LAX on a sunny tuesday morning brought me the feeling of being home.. I am home.. this is where I love to be, with the sun shining brightly, crazy drivers about in the streets, my family... that is all that is important.. I can't wait to show them what I got them from frisco...

and yes somehow i'm getting there.. i'm recovering...

when...

... do you know when to step out of the cloud that you have been hiding from?

... do you know when to just shrug it off as another sunny day gone bad?

... do you learn to forget?

... do you give second chances?

... do you learn to just walk away...

waves...

it comes in waves, the pain

each one bigger than the last

when you think you had the greatest blow

it comes back... never a lull...

Pick on me

Did I upset some cosmic balance and tip off the bad scales in my direction? Is there a big sign on my forehead that reads "PICK ON ME" or "F*CK WITH ME, I'LL TAKE ON ANYTHING"?

All week ever since this year started I've been picked on, reprimanded and f*cked with big time. The question is what did I do?

Did I jump from one boiling pot to another? Did I get myself into much deeper sh*it than I was supposed to? I believe that things happen for a reason but sometimes whatever reason it might be why is it that you have to feel you're being f*cked up while it is happening? Why can't life be easy?

This is not my week....

B1 and B2

I was just thinking about nicknames I've given out to people and my most favorite one is B1 and B2... the letter B stands for so  many nice and nasty words I can think of its so much fun to use.. but before I get into my nicknames let me ask you this, everyone has questioned ernie and bert's credibility being that 2 men were living together.. alot of people have questioned the teletubbies credibility too as being normal kids(as if they were normal, please, can you see anyone around you having a tv in their tummy and singing kids songs, please).. how about B1 and B2(they're the bananas in pajamas), are they twins, brothers or just friends living together and just being in their pajamas all the time hahaha.. ok ok enough bs...

the nicknames:

Bitch 1 and Bitch 2: me and Brenda

Bitch 1 and Bastard 2: me and LJ

B1 and B2: my kuyas, John and Tats(ok i know this is corny it just clicked, please don't tats me hehehehehe..tse)

Bossy 1 and Bossy 2: old work related stuff I can't disclose here hahaha... or maybe I can and they're not here anymore bwahahaha..

but come to think of it in that kids show i don't like B1 and B2 I like the sneaky, nasty, crafty, sometimes nice Rat they call Doding Daga in the Philippines... I always like the villains in these kids shows hahaha.. just like I love the twoheaded monster and oscar the grouch in sesame street...

the fog..

Living in california for the past 7 years I never understood the purpose of the fog lamp, the high beams thingies and all those gadgets in my car, we live in cali where it's always sunny, until last new year's day... reiven and i were driving to my best friends house in anaheim from los angeles and lo and behold there was the fog descending upon us... where it came from who knows, i know i didn't listen to the weather channel that day so it was my fault.. it was creepy... it was just like the movie happening right in front of me.. and yet there i was driving on the I-5 freeway on a cold, roadless fog-y night seemingly going nowhere trying to get to apple's house... i couldn't even see the cars in front and at the back of my car.. except for this one crazy stupid driver who kept weaving in and out of the other cars....

it was like i was suspended in time and in the air.. it felt silent hill scary where stuff is going to come out of the fog and eat you alive.. brrrr....and where you think you've gone somewhere yet you're still just there.. in silent hill....

at least it wasn't raining...

crunchy memories

I love how maple leaves are crunchy when you step on them.. reminds me of trees back home when they start to shed their leaves, which I can't seem to remember when.. but I remember the trees in our old house in pasig before... big macopa and santol trees.. they were yummy when they bore fruit... it's funny sometimes when i try to remember sometimes it's only the childhood memories i remember.. sometimes I feel like I slept through high school and college.. I can't remember huge chunks of my past.. well the older i get i can't seem to remember the past ten years of my life.. i'm on my 7th year going on 8th here in the united states and yet 7 years ago was so far and i can't remember what happened then... sometimes snippets of bad memories come rushing in.. and then some good ones.. sometimes i feel like a zombie just going through everyday.. do I ever remember anything anymore?