NUMBER 2

hmm... did I catch your attention? yes huh?

   

In this world of truth and lies we will always know someone who will be a cheater, a liar and a 2 timer... yes they are the people we least expect them to be... they seem nice and they neither look drop dead gorgeous or the type who will have 2 gfs at 1 time... i do not know if they do this coz they want to be assured that they will be loved whatever happens... that somebody will be there for them come what may.. but whatever your F*&^%$g reason is... You are a selfish bastard who doesn't deserve to be loved by anyone... whoever is the number 2 who knows you are with someone and they still go with you F.U. too.. karma will come back 3x more than you expect... no i'm not hexing you but as Beyonce sings...WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND... WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN...

    

Kudos to the ones they left behind.. aren't you glad you didn't end up with them.. aren't you glad you got hurt once and that will be the end of it.. that you will once again find what is better for you... when God closes a door he opens a window so the robbers can come in mwahhaa... joking aside.. better things will come...

    

oh that's not why i wrote this blog.. mwahaha i got side tracked...

Yes, I have a number 2 - BLOG that is... www.xanga.com/olliemau

I'll try to see if I can keep up with these 2 sites.. I was just thinking of cutting and pasting on both hahaha.. no fancy shmansy hahaha.. and you thought I was so talented mwahaha... see you guys there... comment there too ok...

---Fallen --- Sarah Mclachlan ----

Heaven Bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere long the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

We all begin out with good intent
When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to these I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem away to be redeemed

Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so
    

=== 7 DAYS ===

Main Entry: slack·er
Pronunciation: 'sla-k&r
Function: noun
: a person who shirks work or obligation; especially : one who evades military service in time of war

    

has the slacker gone loco? has the slacker become industrious? i don't think so... i think the energizer bunny inside has lost its energy... it has gone kaput.. well not exactly kaput but it's sorta going out soon...

    

July 21 - Thursday - hmmm what did we do on Thursday..oh yeah it was Kulit's bday.. che asan ang mga pix? we surprised him with an ube macapuno red ribbon cake.. was it his favorite? i don't know.. we chose it coz thats what we want to eat mwahaha.... talk about bringing a gift you always wanted mwahaha... it was nice and fun...Nakita ko din si tatay... kamukha ni kulit pero mas deretso mag tagalog mwahaha.... happy birthday ulit...

         

July 22 - Friday - kidnapped apple again... talked our hearts out again.. then after that laughed til we dropped... i swear, as apple said 'nagkakaroon na ko ng abs sa kakatawa'....i'll let you know what happened some other time mwahhaa... ryt leng?.. i met jun afterwards.. they were going to vegas and i couldn't come.. talk about responsibility...

    

July 23 - Saturday - made my way to Anaheim at 5pm.. it was a long slow, strenuous, tiring drive... had to do it anyway so i can be nearer Irvine...y? for the Megadeth concert on Sunday...John was gonna watch it and I had to be his driver... oh we had to get there early coz he was meeting Marvin and friends for a recording? or practice... anyway we were staying at mommy's house too for the weekend so all things fell into place... watched 5 people you meet in heaven.. they hated me for it coz it's a very sad movie and it put everyone in a sad mood.. mwahahah.. my batteries were low already so i wasnt too much into the games.. but of course margarita satrudays boosted me up mwahaha... toy for the day: kung bong.. mwehehe.. we were playing 1,2,3 pass and he was playing poker on his own hahaha.. it's nice to make fun of drunk ppl mwahaha... oh did i tell you i didn't sleep until before 8 am... coz as usual my slave driver - john ray needed to go to annie's house so early and i didn't want to sleep and not be able to wake up ... which was a very bad idea... i was a zombie the next day mwehehe... favorite place to be: anaheim...

    

July 24 - Sunday - was supposed to watch InXs on ABC but we were late so we just went  to church, favorite church: St. Brendan, the mass here is solemn and heart felt.. yeah kinda sleepy for ppl who didn't sleep at all mwahaha.. drove John to Irvine for the concert before going to church.. dang i won't drive tired again... i know i was awake but i could feel that i couldn't control my arms anymore.. i was swerving... so I decided to go back to Brentwood (Anaheim) to doze of for awhile and go with the chocolate gang to InXs... after going to church and filling our stomachs at THAI BBQ i went with che back to Brentwood and sleep off the night before John calls me to pick him up... 11pm: Time for driver duties hahaha.. we stopped at Denny's on our way home.. this Denny's was packed and there were not many servers.. they even had to turn down ppl coz they couldn't serve them... we came home at 1 am i think...

    

July 25 - Monday - Judgement day.. spazoid came back and I can't even check my emails.. that's it for me.. exciting day huh... i was doing errands all day which was great for me coz i got to get away and be outside and not hear his yelling...oh yeah mads told me she can't come to the camping/kayaking island trip... =( we'll just try it some other time... which is good news for jill coz now she can come.. yay... see you there jill... oh i just remembered.. jun picked me up and brought me to work which means i was early yay!.. and i got to see him too.. =D how sweet... hehehe... went to the gym with che.. patayan na to hahaha... i saw jun that night too... talk about love and devotion mwahaha... kilig...

   

July 26 - Tuesday - Spazoid's second day... I don't recall what happened in the office..hahaha i think i blocked spazoid out too much mwahaha... went to costco with ate janette, mama, tatay and che... they ran out of chicken bake.. grrrr... then on to costco to buy more fruits... ate janette is going home tomorrow... oh she gave me her bag mwehehe... =D ill post a pic here later mwahhaa... i saw jun again tonite..yihiiyy.. =) hehhee..kinilig naman daw ako d ba...

    

July 27 - Wednesday - I got back at spazoid today.. as usual he was screaming his heart out, screaming at cutie pie(that's what the girls on our floor call him) our salesman and i was adding stock and as far as any human being is concerned.. adding stock is not fun with someone screaming at your side... so i moved to rino's table and she was doing something else.. and he was looking for me.. i told him where i was.. and he asked what i was doing.. i told him 'you're too noisy for me...' that made him quiet hahaha... he came to where i was looking at what i was doing, i didnt look up haha.. i wanted to lol hahaha...  but he got me back.. it was 130pm already and he wasnt even considering letting me have lunch.. i asked him if i can go now... he said NO.. i said why not? he laughed he said he was kidding hahaha... I can't get too comfortable I know one of this days he will find something for him to scream at me.. i'm happy right now that I go out and he screams at everyone but me.. knock on wood.. mwahhaa...

    

that's my 7 days in a nut shell.. yay it's almost the weekend...yay....

Top 10

With lack of nothing to write down here I enlisted one of my very good friends to write something for me... we've known each other since grade 5 and we live like 2 blocks away from each other and we used to ride bikes to each other's houses just to bother each other... dang marvin we're old... so he made me a list of what could make me smile, giggle or laugh... it was supposed to be ten but the slacker got lost doing my list..mwahaha...

    

10.) Appreciate her cooking, that you have eaten the best muffin / brownies or what ever you call it. --either i poisoned him / he's scared of me or he just loved them... or i just remembered...maybe he wants more hehehe...

9. ) Pag nakita mo yung bago hair do niya sabi mo lng na I like your hair (wag lng pag bad hair day) yari ka --mwahaha now i know why you always tell me my hair looks nice so you can get on my good side....

8. ) Pag bad ang aura niya sabayan mo lng... trust memauuwi sa mahabang asaran yan tapos mamaya tatawa na yan --hmm let me see.. i think you pour all your shit on me when this happens so i can't say anything else hahaha...

7. ) Dalaw ka sa kanila tapos nakiinom ka lng nang tubig sabay BYE kung di ka uhaw kungwari manghihiram ka nang libro tapos soli mo gulagulanit na but still
readable. --i hated you after after this incident... I WILL NEVER BORROW SOMETHING FOR YOU AGAIN....

6. ) Magpatahi ka nang scarf sa kanya yung kulay pink oo sad to say dapat may bayad. --hindi po tinatahi un... =P

5. ) make corny jokes … babaw lng kaligayan niyan --hahaha letse...

4. ) Call her and make sure to stay on the line for the next 3 hours if your using prepaid line better have a backup load ready. --as if you ever did this..you liked talked for 3 mins and you started fidgeting and making a fuss thinking that you won't be able to live for the next 3 months...letse

3. ) Share you most intimate secret even the most confidential once. Later you’ll see its already been published on her blog. --hah DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO DO THIS TO YOU ... do you want to be my guinea pig?

2. ) More kulitan / More muffin --i think he spaced out here...

1. ) Wala na kong maisip :D kaw na maglagay heheheh --and he's gone...

   

ang daya d man lang umabot ng 10... mag-hanap ka pa ng reasons ok or i'll wring your neck mwahaha... ay parang ang salbahe ko dito mwahaha...

Lost

For the first time since I started this blog I'm lost... lost without your love... nah... i'm at a loss for words to write down here... the creative juices in my mind got drained from working too much... working is really bad for you you know... they try to take away the time that you are supposed to be just doing nothing.. hahaha... nah i was just thinking what i would do... and it got me a list...

• go to the beach.. rent a surfboard and try to see if i still remember the instructions from last year's beginner's lessons...



• boogie board..



• go hiking



• go kayaking



• go to the gym



• take pictures at echo park



• watch the flip movies we rented yesterday



• do nothing...



• finish my NY trip album, i know I still lack some pictures but it's almost done



• try to do the collage for the CALI trip last year so I can print it...



• finish my albums from different trips



• do nothing

    

I kept hearing this song in my head ever since Tes and John hooked up and things started working out for me... yay...

In love nanaman si Shirley
Sa binatang maganda ang kotse
Sila'y nag-date sa may Antipolo kagabi
Lagi na siyang naka-dress ng eskwela
Nakaayos palagi ang buhok niya
Lumulutang sa ulap pag naglalakad sa kalye

   

one thing i can say... DANG TES nd JOHN IS IN LOVE.. view their blog.. i'm getting sick of them...NOT.....LOL..  Tes-http://tesya_in_cali.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/   John-www.xanga.com/katipunero

SLUMBOOK - taken from Tes -

LAYER ONE: THE BASICS

Name:	Ollie Fernandez Mauricio
Nickname(s):	Ollie, Lie(my mom), Ols, Olay, Olive(ppl who don’t know me), Hollywood and Holly(my boss)
Birth date:	April 15, 1978
Birth place:	Mandaluyong (Philippines) – yeah I know I’m from the mental hospital
Hometown:	Pasig City, San Juan, Caloocan City (Philippines)
Siblings:	Michael Bjorn, John Ray, Ralph Lawrence
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Dark Brown – highlighted with blond streaks
Righty or Lefty:	Righty
Zodiac Sign:	Aries
Chinese Sign:	Horse
Religion:	Catholic
Current Location:	California

LAYER TWO: ON THE OUTSIDE/FAVORITES

Your outfit today:	T-shirt, capri, sandals (I’m at the office..nice huh)
Jewelry:	Watch, bracelet, earrings, necklace
Favorite perfume:	Perry Ellis 360
Favorite sport(s):	Volleyball, Basketball (mostly to watch)
Favorite hobby(ies):	Dancing, Singing (out of tune), Kayaking, Camping, Hiking
Favorite music:	Alternative, HipHop, Soft Rock
Favorite cartoon character:	PePe Le Pew, Looney Tunes and Tiny Toons Characters
Favorite season:	Spring and Sumemr
Favorite number:	15
Favorite color:	Purple, Blue, Green and Orange
Favorite flower:	Tulips
Favorite month:	April
First impression(s):	Mataray, Makulit, Maingay
Best physical feature:	Eyes (I think coz that’s what they notice most- big and round)

LAYER THREE: YOUR PICK

Cat or Dog?	Cat
1 or 2 Pillows?	2
Skiing or Boarding?	Boarding – haven’t tried it but if it’s anything like surfing then sure…
Biking or Blading?	Biking
Chocolate or Vanilla?	Chocolate
White or Dark chocolate?	Dark
Truth or Dare?	Kahit ano plus 1 shot of Tequila/Vodka hehehe – same here
Ocean or Pool?	Both
Bread or rice?	Rice
Chicken or Beef?	Chicken
Cream or Cheddar Cheese?	Cream cheese
Mango or Apple?	Mango

LAYER FOUR: DO YOU?

Smoke?	No
Drink?	Yes
Take showers?	Yup
Have a crush(es)?	A lot mwahaha
Think you’ve been in love?	Yes
Get motion sickness?	No
Like the rain?	Only if I’m the house or playing in it.
Enjoy driving?	Yes especially when I have crazy people with me. Long drive anyone?

LAYER FIVE: IN THE PAST MONTH

Drank alcohol:	Last day: July 4
Gone on a gimik:	Yeah with the chocolate gang too.. oh that’s us hahaha..
Been on stage:	Nope
Eaten sushi:	Last one was with Tes and Jun in San Jose?
Had a tan:	Not yet. I’ve been trying to but it’s always foggy at the beach…
Dyed your hair:	Yup with highlights for my make over hahaha..
Cried:	Hmm.. I think I’ve been doing this a lot lately… but I hope that was the end of it.
Quarreled with somebody:	Yeah.. ask the chocolate gang who with… hahaha..
Travelled outside of your current location:	Yup visited Tes and her new house, went movie watching with Apple in Alhambra and sleeping over in Anaheim.. wahoo… klan ung next?

~-~Burned Out~-~

I went to the beach yesterday.. I love the beach.. swimming and boogie/body boarding but... the sun came out for like 5 mins and that's it.. i thought the water would be cold and we won't be able to go into the water...but yay.. it was not.. i love going to the beach... i love getting sand in all the things i have... when i get home it's hell to remove but it reminds me that i was just there... I love the beach...

    

40 DAYS 'til my next adventure... we're going kayaking in the channel islands... wahooo... we're gonna go traverse the other side of the island.. i hope there are more caves there.. and i hope we get to see the place where we can snorkel.. i think i was a fishie in my former life... mwehehehe... I love trips...

    

What I did last Saturday: Went shopping and didn't buy anything I couldn't use.. yay for me... My spending urge is down which means i'm trying to spend more or there was nothing there that caught my eye mwahhaa... ohhh but i bought 3 new bathing suits mwhaha.. talk about sale... or obsession hahaha... I love shopping...

   

I feel burned out.. lack of sleep i guess.. i love staying up late....

Weekend Sound Trip

I think that music is the voice of the soul.... I love to sing tho I don't think the song agrees with me most of the time... right now I'm listening to Gavin Degraw's album Chariot and I think this is me right now...

    

I don't know how this album is arranged but my player has it this way and I think it was meant to be.. I mean it speaks of me and my thoughts one song at a time...

      

Overrated   

I just want to give it all to you
I want to share this with you
Make you mine and mine will be all yours
Whatever you want and more
    

More Than Anyone      

I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime

    

Meaning

To a day our souls can last
Love has a reason
There's a meaning to the world
We're giving love

   

I Don't Want To Be

I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind

    

Crush

I suppose that I could hold it in
But you excite my every cell
Sources say that sense are your friends
My senses say that I should tell

    

Belief

I'm going to yell it from the rooftops
I'll wear a sign on my chest
That's the least I can do

    

Chemical Party

You're still too amazing to ignore
But I'm incapable of rescuing you
You find it too damn easy to get bored
That's why you're always trying something new

      

Nice To Meet You Anyway

And even if you want me to stay here
I'm telling you right now
I should leave
Before I get to changing my mind, dear
I hope you understand what I mean

      

Just Friends

I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I've had other options too
But all I want is you

   

Chariot

You'll be my vacation away from this place
You know what I want
Holding that cup,
It's pouring over the sides
Make me wanna spread my arms and fly

    

Follow Through

And I, all I really want is you
You to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through

http://www.azlyrics.com/d/degraw.html

<---PONDER---<<

If you see me walking the road with someone else
Its not because i like his company
Its because you're not brave enough to walk beside me.
If you hear me talking about him all the time
Its not because he pleases me
Its because you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat
If you feel me falling with someone new
Its not because i love him
Its because your not there to catch me when i fall
If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don't know where the road is going
Are we gonna cross each other's path
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound
Don't let me walk with him
It's you I wanna walk with
Don't let me fall for him
It's you I want to fall in love with.

>>>>

When you thought I wasn't brave enough to walk beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe because of the beauty that stands before me
When you thought I was too deaf to hear your
heartbeat
I didn't want to assume anything
And I was afraid to lose our friendship
When you thought i wasn't there to catch you
It's beacuse you never gave me the chance
You never reached the bottom, you've already
grabbed a branch
If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am lost
I too don't know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we gonna cross each other's path?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?
Don't let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side
Don't let me talk of something else
It's you I want to talk with
Don't let me fall with someone else
Its you I want to fall in love with.



"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand
that, or even believe it, but trust me, THERE ARE SOME LOVE THAT DON'T GO AWAY. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that INSANITY. Somebody who never let
go. SOMEBODY WHO CHERISHES YOU FOREVER."
    

>>>sigh<<<<

*~F*#K OFF~*

RACIST SHIT: I hate people who just because they don't understand what you are talking about think that you are talking about them... GET A LIFE.. we have far more important things to talk about than you...

   

I sit here with a Jewish boss, Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, FIlipino and Japanese customers but do you hear me complain when they talk and speak in their own native tongue? NOOOO coz I DON'T CARE... and neither should the other people who don't understand what I am saying coz I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU...I have far more better stuff to talk about....   

   

I hate people who shush me when they don't understand what I am saying...excuse me i am speaking here and if you don't understand and don't want to listen... F#*K OFF... and don't you get I'm not talking to you...

Notes for my future ex-boyrfriends

The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him"):

1. FULL DISCLOSURE: At the commencement of said relationship
(colloquially referred to as the "first date"), each party agrees to fully disclose any current girl/boyfriends, dependent children, bizarre religious beliefs, phobias, fears, social diseases, strange political affiliations, or currently active relationships with anyone else that have not yet been terminated.

Further, each party agrees to make known any deep-seated complexes and/or fanatical obsessions with pets, careers, and/or organized sports. Failure to make these disclosures will result in the immediate termination of said relationship before it has a chance to get anywhere.

2. INDEMNIFICATION OF FRIENDS: Both parties agree to hold the person who arranged the liaison (colloquially referred to as the "matchmaker") blameless in the event that the "fix-up" turns out to be a "real loser" or "psycho bitch". (For definition of "real loser", see "John DeLorean My Story", available at most bookstores, or any picture of Bob Guccione in "Penthouse". For definition of "psycho bitch," see Sharon Stone in "Basic Instinct" or Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction.")

3. DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed past the first date, both parties mutually agree to use the following terminology in describing their said "dating": For the first thirty (30) days, both parties consent to say they are "going out". (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of exclusivity.) Following the first thirty 30) days, both parties may say they are "seeing somebody" and may be referred to by third parties as "an item". Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the first date, either member may elect to use the terms "girl/boyfriend" or "lover" and their mutual acquaintances may refer to them as "a couple". Under no circumstances are the phrases "my better half," "the little woman," "the old ball and chain," or "my old man/lady" acceptable. Furthermore, if both members consent, this timetable may be sped up; however, if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market."

4. TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days, both parties agree not to ask questions about the other's whereabouts on weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods. No unreasonable demands or expectations will be made; "rights" or "holds" on the other's time. Following the first six weeks or forty-five (45) days, if one party continues to be "missing in action" the "wounded party" agrees to "give up".

5. DATING ETIQUETTE: For the first thirty (30) days, both members of the couple agree to be overly considerate of the other's work pressures, schedules, and business ambitions. All dates will be made at least twenty-four(24) hours in advance; there will be no "running off in the middle of the night to console an old girl/boyfriend", and both parties agree to strike the phrase "but he/she needs me" from their vocabularies. Further, during the first six (6) weeks each member of said relationship agrees to attempt one spontaneous home-cooked meal or to arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers.
Following the first forty-five (45) days, both parties will return to their normal personalities.

6. TERMS OF PAYMENT: It is agreed that -- respective gross income aside "he" will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theaters, and breakfasts until: He considers her suitably impressed, He is broke, or He says, "this is ridiculous, you pay!" Not included in this agreement are meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time.

7. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS (occasionally known as the "Why do I bother to keep my own apartment?" codicil): Should said relationship progress to the point where the couple spends more than four nights a week together, every effort shall be made to split the time between their respective apartments. Further, it is agreed that both sides will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates. Both will avoid having their mothers call at 7:30 in the morning. He agrees to "pick up after himself" while in residence at her apartment, including washing his whiskers out of the sink, and assisting with household duties. By the same token, she agrees to respect his right to keep his apartment "a mess".

8. THE 90-DAY GRACE PERIOD: For the first three months, each member of the phrases couple agrees to hold the other blameless in the euphoric use of like "Let's move in together," "Why don't we start a family?" and – using archaic terminology -- "Let's get married."

9. THE "L" WORD: For the first sixty (60) days, both parties agree not to use the phrase "I love you." They may love plants, dogs, cats, cars, concerts, or the way a particular pair of jeans fits, but not each other. Failure by one party to abide by this rule will result in the other party using the "G" word ... "Gone."

10. GROUNDS FOR TERMINATION: Any of the following will be grounds for immediate termination and final dissolution of said relationship:
Infidelity: Running off at any time to console an ex-girl/boyfriend, ending any argument with the sentence "My ex used to do that same ...."
    

taken from http://www.craigslist.com/about/best/bos/71582044.html

->->->->PASAWAY<-<-<-<-

As I was working, apple and tess sent me ims... and as we were talking we broached on the subject of being pasaway... which got me thinking i wonder what the world has out there that can explain this word...I came across the perfect meaning..

   

Pasaway /pa.sa.way'/
: matigas ang ulo, hindi marunong sumunod.

   

as always when i am researching something on the internet i look for more... and this was my agenda for today aside from working that is mwahahaha... i saw this article about a song about pasaway... and on the article it said that pasaway is an indolent person... http://www.clickthecity.com/music_article.asp?p=258 speak about using big words but indolent is not one that i have come across recently so i got intrigued.. what in heavens is indolent...

    

Indolent (nd-lnt)

1. Disinclined to exert oneself; habitually lazy. See Synonyms at lazy.



2. Conducive to inactivity or laziness; lethargic: humid, indolent weather.

   

I don't really think indolent is a good word to describe pasaway in english.. I don't mean to criticize whoever wrote that article above but if you know tagalog, pasaway certainly does not mean lazy... pasaway i think could be best described with being hard headed and being a pain in the ass.. which i think for the past few weeks i have been... and it was nice... yeah i have been pasaway in the past but i think being a pasaway this time is way much cooler and fun coz i have friends to come along the ride... usually i become a pasaway on my own... i don't include or tell the other people i am with that i am gonna get in trouble for staying out alot... or stuff like that but now they know and i hope that i didn't bring it out in them too, being a pasaway that is hahaha.. anyway if i could run away and be care free i'd have these people to run away with... which gives pasaway a new meaning...

   

Pasaway /pa.sa.way'/

:Ollie (i know people think i'm the mastermind to everything already, so yes I ADMIT IT), Apple (my partner in crime..mwehehhe), Tess (is it right that I included you...you're nice pa naman... not anymore...mwahahaha... you're in so you can't do anything anymore mwahaha--dagdag:  mama san ng mga pasaway mwahahaha), Che-Anne (yeah I try to corrupt her young mind mwahaha.. or was it that you corrupted mine... mwahahha), and Daisy (we tried but you only follow us when you're drunk, dancing with your own steps and counting crows mwahaha...)

Ever since the day you went away
and left me lonely and cold
my life just hasn't been the same
oh baby no
when i looked into your eyes
the moment that i let you go i just broke down

baby if i ever get the chance to be with you again
I would sacrafice
Cuz the feelin that I feel within no other man would ever make me feel so right
its nice to smile when i get your phone call at night
But I rather have you here with me
right next to me
and I miss the way you hold me tight

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that i could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything

That's right baby
Im goin crazy
I need to be your lady
I been thinkin lately
that you and me yes we can make it
just ride with me roll with me
Im in love with you (baby)

Thats right baby
Im goin crazy
I need to be your lady
I been thinkin lately
that you and me yes we can make it
just ride with me roll with me
Im in love with you (baby)

break it down then I'll tell you what i feel
from the moment that i met you its been so damn real
my heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak
Can't belive I feel so weak
tell me that you really need me
and you want me
and you miss me
and you love me
I'm your lady
I'll be around waitin for you
put it down be the woman for you
im fallin so deep for you
crazy over you im callin
callin out to you
what am i gonna do?
its true no frontin
it's u ain't no other
I can no longer go on without you
I just break down (down)

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that i could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything

Thats right baby
Im goin crazy
I need to be your lady
I been thinkin lately
that you and me, yes we can make it
just ride with me roll with me
Im in love with you (baby)

Thats right baby
Im goin crazy
I need to be your lady
I been thinkin lately
that you and me, yes we can make it
just ride with me roll with me
Im in love with you (baby)

ooo, crazy,(ooo),
lately (ooo),
lately (ooo)
Lately
   

Natalie

   

this song is f*^%$d up hahaha...

~-~ Drown me please ~-~

Nice title huh... hahahahaha...  but these are my favorite drown out the world songs.... i have more... i'll post my avril down out songs later hehehe...

    

-*-,-*- My Immortal - Evanescence -*-,-*-

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I wiped away all of your tears
When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face, it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All of the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I wiped away all of your tears
When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I wiped away all of your tears
When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
all of me

   

-*-,-*- Bring Me To Life - Evanescence -*-,-*-

How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb without a soul
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
(wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
(wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie,there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life
Frozen inside without your touch without your love
Darling only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here there must be something more
Bring me to life

*~AMHS~*

wahooo.. i'm here at apple's office... trying to bother her..but she is one tough cookie...she's doing her job... and she's doing it well.. well here i am blogging again.. why am i here.. hmmm... coz it's so hot at home and i don't want to sleep yet... i think my 5am schedule is kicking in again... mwahahaha.. yesterday i slept at what 2:30... sigh.. and i woke up at 730 talk about sleep... so apple is trying to finish her job... and here i am blogging so i won't bother her...

   

i thought about it before do i want to be a nurse? NO... i hate blood and all that gory stuff.. memorizing and all that shit hahaha.. i'm one lazy ass bitch except when it comes to computers.. i love tinkering with the computer and all the softwares running on it... yeah yeah yeah it's ok for me to be called geek but i won't be able to measure up to them hahaha... they call me einstein at home.. sheesh i wish i had half of his brain then i wouldn't be at my boring job.. i can be the next bill gates apprentice hahaha... anyway i hope to be able to program again.. i love programming.. ok i accept any graphic design job too.. im not looking for a job but if you have one then sure...hahaha...*wink wink* sigh i miss staying up all night and getting nightmares on programs i'm doing hahaha.. well not nightmares but i get answers from my dreams.. probably coz i think about them too much.. dang i miss those days... i miss all the people i worked with before... emil,albert,ate marlyn, ate rina, ms. mench and all the other ifca ppl... jun, than and dek at IPI...dang i miss having the friday food trip, restaurant hopping and malate tripping with just the guys from IPI... letse nyo dahil sa inyo tumaba ako mwahaha... i miss you guys...

      

so do i want to be a nurse? NO hahaha... i want to be the one who counts the medicines or cheers up the patients but not to poke needles or cut them up... i'd probably faint before the patient faints mwahahaha =) 

   

oh crazy me i forgot to tell you what AMHS does...they are a School of Nursing... they have classes for CNS, HHA, PHLEBOTOMY, NURSE TECH(PCA), LVN... so if you want to get a course on those I can help you with a cut mwahah... just joking.. 

   

oh one more thing I love AMHS coz I mailed them my letter before apple and I saw each other, i was looking for apple and i didn't know my letter would be sent to them... and yay they gave it to her wahooo... so here I am where it all started.. where my letter reached apple's hands so we could meet again... wahooo..thank you...

Forever's Not Enough

This is my favorite love song... probably something i'll let apple sing on my wedding, if i evevr have one mwahaha...

      

If I would have to live my life again
I'd stay in love with you the way I've been
Your love is something no one ever can replace
I can't imagine life with someone else
I promise, I will share my life with you
Forever may not be enough it's true
My heart is filled with so much love
I feel for you
No words can say how much I love you so
                
CHORUS:
And if forever's not enough for me to love you I'd spent another lifetime baby,
If you ask me to
There's nothing I won't do
Forever's not enough to love you so
               
They say tomorrow seems so far away,
And now we see that everything can change
My love for you gets stronger as tomorrow comes
I know this love will stand
In the test of time
            
Chorus
         
Coda:
For you, there's nothing I can't do
And never will I ever go
Forever's not enough to love you so
But if forever is one day
I promise you I'll stay to show you
That my love for you will never end...

                

~~Sarah Geronimo

YAY!!!

Yay It's not yet completely gone but I AM NOT GOING BLIND... yay... My eye infection is almost gone...It's gonna take a couple more days of the eye drops but I am almost cured... Thank the Lord for sending me yesterday to Dr. Jay. I've been holding going to him for so long and yesterday I was there... it was good that we got to it immediately.. wahooo...

MY WORST FEAR...

Ever since I had my glasses... heard about my cousin almost going blind, but they lazered his eye so he could see again... heard about people having glaucoma... i always had this fear of going blind... I was always and will be until now afraid that someday I too would go blind..

I just went to the doctor with my glasses on coz i wanted new contacts, one reason was because it's almost august and i'm gonna buy new pairs of disposable contacts for the kayaking trip.. and because my right eye's contacts got torn this morning.. so off i went with my glasses... my left eye was blurry, burning and kind of feeling inflamed or something... i just shrugged it off, thinking that i cried last night so it's swollen or something....

there i was on the chair having my eye examined.. i told Dr. Jay that my glasses I think don't work good anymore.. my eyes are blurry... so he said it's ok we're gonna test your glasses and then your eyes... he tested my glasses with me wearing them and by themselves..he said they were ok... he tested my eyes and said..this is not good... let me put some medicine on your left eye... after 3 drops and 4 blinks...he said i need to prescribe you with a medicine that can remove your eye infection.. i got scared.. i asked him what happened... then said this is not good... the infection is right in the middle of your eye... and if not treated immediately it will grow and will make your eye blind... i wanted to cry then and there... i asked him instead if it will go away.. he said the next 24 hours is the most important part of this exam... if it goes away i'll examine your eyes for contacts.. but we will see.. drop this on your eyes every hour until tomorrow.. then come back and we will see...

now my most unfounded fear has come to life... i don't want to go blind... as someone once said to me.. you have beautiful eyes.. they're big and round and they tell me what you feel... not only for that reason do i want to go blind... i want to see alot of stuff... i want to go places and use my eyes to see where i am going... i want to appreciate every sunset and sunrise the Lord has to offer... i want to see how other people smile, cry and get mad... my eyes are already damaged as it is.. i just hope it does not have any more... i hope tomorrow i can say i'm better..

oh i forgot I told Rinatte this the moment I heard this song... I want Seasons of Love to be my song ok...

HOW FAR...HOW LONG...

How far...

Is it to Chicago(car) ---> Total Est. Time: 29 hours, 33 minutes Total Est. Distance: 2028.34 miles

Is it to Alhambra(car) ---> Total Est. Time: 15 minutes Total Est. Distance: 10.44 miles

Is it to Patterson(car) ---> Total Est. Time: 4 hours, 28 minutes Total Est. Distance: 298.51 miles

Is it to Anaheim ---> Total Est. Time: 35 minutes Total Est. Distance: 28.41 miles

Is it to Eagle Rock ---> Total Est. Time: 10 minutes Total Est. Distance: 5.59 miles

can you go to understanding someone who doesn't want to be understood...

can you make someone understand when he doesn't want to understand...

How long...

can you wait for him to understand..

can you wait for him to call...

can you wait for him to want to see you...

can you tell yourself that he is good for you...

can you kid yourself that everything will be ok...

can you kid yourself into thinking that he wants you back...

can you kid yourself into believing that the next time you talk it will be ok...

can you tell yourself that you still love someone when you don't really know if it is true anymore...

can you hold all this pressure...

will you wait...

before you break up? break apart? break away?

Something Women Should Always Remember..

Men are like....
1. Men are like ........Laxatives ..... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like .......Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .......Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ......Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ......Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like .... Snowstorms ..... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .......Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ..Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

On My Way To Work

I was late.. I was grumpy.. I didn't want to talk to anybody... I skipped my morning roll calls to my fellow tmobile freaks... I just wanted to get to work and get it over with.. but lo and behold angels come in the most unexpected places and in the most unexpected forms... I call them my angels, people who lift me up, make my day seem brighter and just talk and make me see that indeed it is another spectacular day and you have to smile at it...

she was old enough to be my mom's grandma or maybe not i really don't know how to gauge people's ages.. she was a dainty little old lady..sorry for the old but she was dainty and she was sweet.. the bus was packed and i was standing in front of her... i knew i wasn't looking at her but i don't know how she caught my attention... but she started talking.. asking me is I was a Filipina, of course I said yes.. it was weird coz she started saying..oh ang ganda mong Filipina.. are you single? I said yes... she asked me if I had a bf.. I bit my tongue and I wanted to say no but I said yes... I was scared she was gonna pair me off with one of her grandsons hahaha.. anyway so she was like oh it's too bad..but how long have you been together, aren't you gonna get married yet.. i was like oh no not yet... and she asked me how old i was...she said are you 19 or 20.. good for the ego huh..i told her i was 27...she said oh you shouldn't say that out loud, tell them you're just 24, you can run away with it.. she made me smile.. then she told me she had 16 children, she was married at the age of 15.. she said she didn't really like the guy, he wasn't even one of her suitors..he just kissed her then and there and they got married after that...it was crazy if you think how parents were strict then that you got kissed and you get married after that..she said if she had a choice she wouldn't chose him... but the guy moved fast... he said that he didn't want anyone to get to her first so he did it... it's funny how guys do what they want fast when they want to do it but when they want you to suffer they do it as slow as they can... sigh... so she said only 10 of her 16 kids are alive now..i didn't want to ask how they died coz i was going down soon...but she told me before i went down..  kung may anak pa sana akong hindi pa kinakasal, pwede ka sana ang ganda mong pinay e.. which made me think... i was grumpy and i was not really smiling except when i was talking to her... but she saw something there.. something to smile about... anyway she's my angel for today... i have lots of them when i need them.. thanks for sending them...

-->Hit Me Baby One More Time<--

The most unplanned events are usually the most successful ones.. The more you are uncertain about stuff the more it becomes exciting.. Don't get me wrong, I  love planning.. kayaking, camping, nights out.. i love the process of knowing what we are gonna do the coming weekend, the next month and the next time we see each other...  i love sitting around with nothing to do too but most of the time i love going places...

                                           

So off to San Francisco we went... on my Durango... nice to think of it as mine huh... after driving it all the way to San Francisco I now know that someday when I can get me one of these hot babies I will get the Durango.. It was smooth all the way, it's like driving at 35 mph when you're already reaching 90-100 hahaha...yes i excercised my right to conquer the I-5 and there were no cops around..wahooo.. i think they were all on the 101 and the 15..thank you....                                                                                                                         

      

                                                                                                                                             

First stop:  Time to gas up. I forgot to fill up before we went on our way. I bet we could have reached Patterson if I filled it up all the way to the top... but it's ok we ate the crunchy taco thing in Taco Bell, it's good.. yummy...

Onward... it took us one more hour to reach Patterson and the crazy roundabout crossings there... which makes me remember what happened...

                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                     

Next Stop: Tes' house... To work off our lunch we had to earn our keep so we sang to tess and all the workmen who i think stopped working after they heard us sing..  hahaha... oh speaking of singing...like driving never let val get to the mic...haha joke lang... he made everyone sleep..the moment he held the mic he sent us into slumber... after getting our energy back we had to go to the Modesto mall... coz che-anne needed to buy pants, she forgot hers at home... which was good coz that's where i got this wonderful top..well apple saw it first but didn't fit her.. lucky me.. anyway Daisy was at the house already after declaring that the drive from Vallejo to Patterson would take 2 hours.. we had to hurry back...          

We love Daisy so what do we do to her after making her wait 1 1/2 hrs... we go to one of the roundabout crossing right.. and we lead her on...we made her follow us...2x around the thing..which after the first time she stops in the middle and confuses the other motorists hahhaa... love you Daisy...

                                                                                                                     

Next Stop: one8one

the preparation...

and more preparations...

yay we're done wahoooo..we look nice and girlie huh...

                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                  

so here we are all drunk, danced out and getting crazy hahaha... i guess i love pictures and i let them talk by themselves... it was a very fun night.. something i'd always remember.. not only cause Daisy counted crows... but because we ate at denny's again hahaha.. I think Denny's is our weekend staple food hahha...

   

          

THE NEXT DAY

Last day... to enjoy the San Francisco air... we are going to visit some relatives and some friends... i think we rocked their house... we were so noisy... dang it felt like there were 20 ppl instead of just 6 hahaha... thank you tito and tita for having us at  your house...

                                                   

That night: Games are fun to play especially when played with special people (and special children too) hehehe... We played gestures, a very fun game that Tes bought... you guys should try this... ask Val how to demonstrate "AIR", Apple to demonstrate measurement and me to interpret it as small, medium and large, ask Tes how lotion, gel and all other things pertain to the word "head", Che-Anne was a very efficient playmate.. oh did i mention it was me, apple and che-anne on one team and we won... Jess took whatever stuff into her camera to show everyone how special we really were... hahahaha... after that we turned onto "one, two,three,pass.." or sometimes called as 1,2,3,4 or 1,2,3,go to drunk ppl hahaha... our punishment... truth,dare or shot... which in the end was truth or dare plus shot... which I think brought us a nice dare ey Tes..what can u say... hahaha... after laughing so hard that you can't breathe anymore all the alcohol we consumed was nothing... i think it went out the other way hahaha.. we slept at 5 or 6 am and i can say i'd want to do it again...

July 4, 2005: We took Bart to get to Fisherman's Wharf where we watched the Fireworks..there were alot of people there and I can say the clam chowder in the bread bowl was the bomb... yummy... so was the fried calamari... that val bought hehehe..thank you val... after watching the fireworks and weaving through traffic, people traffic that is where we made our own hand signals so our convoy would know where to go we were off to Southern California... back to our old crazy lives... I was kind of sad.. sad that we were driving all the way back in the middle of the night hahaha... sad that we were leaving Tes, all that fun, all that movie marathon, 1,2,3 pass and all that just being there, among friends.. among people you can trust your life with, people you can say that now I can die I've lived among friends and knew how to be happy and to be loved and to belong... we'll do this again.. NEXT WEEK hahaha...

I remember Apple always tells me that things happen for a reason... and I think this happened for a reason... last year this time I was in New York, spending it with two of my best buddies... i think July 4th will always be a memorable occassion for me... THIS HAPPENED FOR A REASON... thanks girlfriends...

I'm almost back and almost energized

First blog after my delicious vacation... after sleeping from 7pm yesterday until 830pm today i think i got most of my energy back.. but not all.. my mind is still disoriented, i think my body clock still hasn't changed. it's still programmed to 12 noon - 5am hahaha... anyway i'll blog later.. just wanted brenda to know i'm still alive and i'm still walking.. and yes i was online the other day..i was trying to catch you but you weren't there... see yah sweetie.. blog later...