getting groped in dowtown

I saw him while we were walking...he was on his bike and he had that gleam in his eye... sorta like the evil villain in cartoons.. he was staring straight at me and he had that smile, that look, that gleam.. I was thinking.. was it me he was staring at or I just caught his eye coz I was smiling while me and my office mates were walking and while I got my ear to my phone..

oh well.. I thought... its nice that I get somebody's eye once in a while makes me feel very beautiful.. not that I'm not but women know what I'm talking about.. attention from other people once in a while brightens up our day...

anyway.. so I thought that that was it.. lo and behold it didn't end there.. don't know how and when he parked his bike like a few feet away from me and how and when he sneaked up behind me on my way up to the bus.. but he was there and guess what the m*+h@r fnck@r did.. he touched, groped, grabbed my butt.. whatever it was I felt violated... I felt his hand on my behind and I turned my head coz I thought it was just the old ladies behind me trying to get on the already full bus(just like what I was doing)... sometimes they carry too many bags it hits my back.. but I knew this was different.. as I sweeped the crowd I saw the evil villain... he was there to my right.. walking slowly away and where he had been there was a gap and people were looking at him too.. I was like O.M.G. I hope it wasn't him trying to grope me.. but he saw me looking at him and he tried to walk farther away... and tried not to look.. well anybody who knows me knows that I don't let these things pass.. I pulled out the dirty finger on him, not once, twice or thrice.. but until I could do it.. and he didn't even flinch... he didn't even appear surprised.. he knew why I was pulling the finger at him.. it made me more mad when he puller the finger at me too and he smiled the evil villain smile.. I screamed at him.. I should have shouted pervert but I shouted...I catch you one more time and I'm gonna slap your f-ing face.. and he pulled the dirty finger on me with both hands.. grrrrr..

I hate it.. I didn't come to this country to get violated.. I know I should be scared especially here in downtown where there are gangs and cut throats and crazy people everywhere... but I'm not I'm already thinking how I can get back at the f-er.. I know that I shouldn't be so brave but the next time this will happen i will make sure he won't come near me again.. either I hire my own body guard, stand by the cargo trucks where all the body guards are or call the cops so I can complain about him before I smack his head off... who knows I might forget about this tomorrow and he will try to stay away seeing I cursed him to stay away mwahaha.. who knows...

oh well there is my wow for the day sis..

you keep making me ill...

I'm lyin' here on the floor where you left me
I think I took too much
I'm crying here, what have you done?
I thought it would be fun

I can't stay on your life support, there's a
shortage in the switch,
I can't stay on your morphine, cause its making me
itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she´s
being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
You keep makin' me ill

I haven't moved from the spot where you left me
This must be a bad trip
All of the other pills, they were different
Maybe I should get some help

I can't stay on your life support, there's a
shortage in the switch,
I can't stay on your morphine, cause its making me
itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes
being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (arr)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
You keep makin' me ill

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (arr)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
You keep makin' me ill

I can't stay on your life support, there's a
shortage in the switch,
I can't stay on your morphine, cause its making me
itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes
being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can,

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (ahh)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill I'm lyin' here on the floor where you left me
I think I took too much
I'm crying here, what have you done?
I thought it would be fun

I can't stay on your life support, there's a
shortage in the switch,
I can't stay on your morphine, cause its making me
itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she´s
being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
You keep makin' me ill

I haven't moved from the spot where you left me
This must be a bad trip
All of the other pills, they were different
Maybe I should get some help

I can't stay on your life support, there's a
shortage in the switch,
I can't stay on your morphine, cause its making me
itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes
being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (arr)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
You keep makin' me ill

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (arr)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
You keep makin' me ill

I can't stay on your life support, there's a
shortage in the switch,
I can't stay on your morphine, cause its making me
itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but shes
being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can,

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere (ahh)
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
Your keep makin' me ill
(rpt end 2x)
Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me
ill
Your keep makin' me ill
(rpt end 2x)

Pill - Pink

the choice...

How far will you go for love.. and so goes the question on Nicolas Sparks' new book entitled "the choice"

I finished it a few days ago and whenever I read books I usually carry with me the scenarios for a while and it makes me think...


========== SPOILER ALERT!!!! ===============
if you are going to read the story and do not want to know what happens then you have to stop here...
       


it starts off as just your typical next door neighbor kind of story... new neighbor moves in,Gabby, her dog gets pregnant and she accuses the cute neighbor's dog who turns out to be neutered, and the neighbor advises her to visit the vet so she can make sure her dog is really pregnant.. turns out to be the vet IS the neighbor, Travis.. and so goes and develops their romance.. but it's not all sugar and spice and everything nice.. there is a problem.. she has a bf since college and she thinks she still loves him.. it's been years and still he hasn't even asked her to marry him.. how long do you have to wait..

but then she makes her choice..

years later they have a family.. dream house, lovely daughters, aging dogs, loving husband and wife... then tragedy strikes.. Gabby and Travis get into an accident.. she goes into coma..

how long will you wait..

she gave him 3 months to decide whether to pull the plugs out or not coz she said when it happened to them she would like them to move on and forget about her... let her die.. what will be your choice... "The Choice ultimately confronts us with the most heart wrenching question of all: how far would you go to keep the hope of love alive?"

it's sad.. it made me think.. will I also make the right choice when the time comes...

lola en

my grandma died yesterday and I can't even be there to say goodbye... I love you lola I wish I could have seen you one last time..

They told me I could probably go home in december.. my brother is there but the first idea that popped into my head was.. what jeepneys do I ride to get to palmera 3.. I think I still remember..

One particular scene I always remember when I used to bother them at their house when they still lived beside our house was seeing my grandma brush her nice thick healthy hair.. I told her.. lola ang ganda naman ng buhok mo(grandma your hair looks nice).. and she answers syempre maganda kasi ako(of course coz I'm beautiful).. I love it when she laughs.. she laughs so hard sometimes it makes her cough.. she is one of those people whom whenever you talk to you can feel their sincerity... I love seeing her at reunions.. coz not like every other aunt or grandma that asks you why you don't have a bf or why you're not married yet she does the opposite.. o wag ka muna magb-bf bata ka pa.. wag ka muna mag-aasawa... kamusta ka na.. nami-miss na kita.. you can always feel from what she says that she's proud of you...

I love it when I had vacations at their new house... she used to tell me stories about my dad when he was a kid.. how she'd steal my dad from his mom... how she'd fight them saying.. bakit nyo pinagdadamot si boy.. that's the way she talked to my dad when he didn't want me to stay at their house.. she was very funny.. she loved hearing stories from where we were but I don't know how she does it but it doesn't sound like gossip when either she tells it or when she weasles it out out of people.. like me hehehe... she has a way of talking to people and making them feel welcome and at ease.. ey but she has a nasty bite too.. she can flick off people when she needs to... i always thought she was too thin or too frail.. i saw her get mad once.. I forgot what the reason was but I was thinking... wow..  

She is ony mighty lady.. I remember her taking care of my great grandma who lived until she was 98(?)... I wish she lived long enough for me to see her again though... I miss her.. I wasn't able to talk much with her but it was always fun when we did.. I wish I could have gone home before she died..

I miss you lola.. I love you...

i love this song

Just like tyrone wells' I hate you song I love this song by get set go too.. it's title is I HATE EVERYONE.. hahaha I think this is me when either I'm pmsing or just because...

Some stupid chick in the checkout line
Was paying for beer with nickels and dimes
And some old man who clipped coupons
Had argued whenever they wouldn't take one
All I wanted to was buy some cigarettes
But I couldn't take it anymore so I left

I hate everyone (4x)

All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all

Some fucking asshole just cut me off
And gave me the finger when I fucking honked
Then he proceeded to put on the brakes
He slammed on the brakes, but I made a mistake
When I climbed out of my van he was waiting
But he was six three and two hundred pounds of Satan

I hate everyone (4x)

All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all

I bet you think I'm kidding
But I promise you its true
I hate most everybody
But most of all I hate
Oh, I hate you

All the people on the street, I hate you all
And the people that I meet, I hate you all
And the people that I know, I hate you all
And the people that I don't, I hate you all
And the people in the east, I hate you all
And the people I hate least, I hate you all
And the people in the west, I hate you all
And the people I like best, I hate you all
Oh, I hate you all

"Where Does The Good Go" - tegan and sarah

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow
What do you do with the left over you
And how do you know, when to let go
Where does the good go, where does the good go
Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen
It's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go
Where does the good go
Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down
Where does the good go, where does the good go

"Wait" - get set go

Wait, wait for the dawn my dear
Wait till the sun gets here
And you will wait too long he will be gone
Wait, wait till the sun shines through
Wait till the sky is blue
And you will wait too long he will be gone, he will be gone

Ooh, he will be gone
Ooh, he will be gone

Wait, wait till the signs are right
Wait till the perfect time
And you will wait too long he will be gone, he will be gone

Ooh, he will be gone
Ooh, he will be gone

La la la la la ...

Wait till you don't doubt no more
Wait till you know for sure
And you will wait too long he will be gone now

"How to save a life" - the fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
[How To Save A Life Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com]
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
      

"Miss Halfway" - anya marina

You oughta hear the mirror in my house
You oughta fear her pretty, pretty mouth
Says I’m imperfect in every way:
“Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway”

All my friends in L.A. got jobs on Melrose Place
I play Replacements songs and sigh-- a Waitress In The Sky

You oughta hear the things I’ve been thinking
You oughta swim in a heart that is sinking
You try to break me with all the things you say:
“Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway”

Tony makes 60 K, invests in IRA’s,
But I’m busy making paper airplanes out of resumes

But I’m gonna burn, I’m gonna shine and multiply
I’m gonna fill up the great divide
You’ll never break me with all the things you say
“Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway”

I’m gonna burn a pie now and then
And I’m gonna say the wrong things to your friends
I’m gonna burn and shine and multiply
And when I do, you’re gonna see me in her eyes…

I’m gonna burn and shine and multiply
I’m gonna fill up the great divide
You’ll never break me with all the things you say
Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway
Miss Almost, Miss Maybe, Miss Halfway
Miss Halfway, Miss Halfway, Miss Halfway.

ironic

An old man turned ninety eight, he won the lottery and died the next day.. and so goes the song ironic.. It's funny but I've never been part or featured in a school newspaper be it in high school or college before... yet now I am and not only is my name spelled wrong(Aly) and what I said wasn't accurate(I think it would be crazy if eryone would bring their dog to school. It's already annoyingly loud. Imagine with barking dogs, too! - this is not me and hey guys spell check please).. it isn't even my school.. i'm not even taking a course there... I just use the pool...

here's what happened.. I use the pool at the LACC every m-w-f for lap swimming and I was on my way home when these students ambushed me, not with guns but with papers and pens and this gigantic camera(well not really but I imagine the old cameras with the smoky flash bulb-me and my imagination), anyway they were asking me what my opinion was on students bringing their dogs to school.. my first reaction was that I wasn't studying there, I just use the pool you can't interview me and 'what they bring dogs to school now?'.. Isn't it crazy that people will bring their pets to school.. aren't you supposed to be there to learn.. not take care of your dog.. ey I love dogs and they are cute but they need alot of attention and work(scooping poop, feeding, cooling them down, make sure they don't have fleas)... so what I said was what will happen to the dogs when you go to class? who's gonna take care of them... do they leave them outside?.. well what I think is isn't it enough that you have noisy classmates and now you have barking dogs... it's just crazy.. well aside from this post I hope nobody recognizes it was me.. hahaha... I was wearing my glasses which made me look dorky and unrecognizable hahaha...and they put me under computer technology major.. ey dudes I think the computer majors are at home by the time you interviewed me, hacking and whacking away the keyboards on their computer.. yeah yeah yeah don't be mad we're all nerds... hahaha...

oh now I can show my grand kids I was in the paper once.. to comment about dogs mwehehe... animo la salle!

serendipity

These are the songs I found on youtube when I entered the word serendipity... 

I love that movie and I think the songs I found fit the movie well.. 
some of the are part of the movie already...

-Waiting in Vain -

Annie Lenox

From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy
My heart said follow through.
But I know now that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feeling's fine

So don't treat me like a puppet on a string
'Cause I know how to do my thing
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb
I wanna know when you're gonna come

See-
*I don't wanna wait in vain for your love
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love
'Cause summer is here
And I'm still waiting there
Winter is here
I'm still waiting there

Like I said-
It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
Ooh, boy, ooh, boy, is it crazy? Look, I wanna know now
For I to knock some more

You see-
In life I know
That there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waitin'
While I'm waitin' for my turn

You see-
(*Repeat)

Like I said-
I don't wanna, I don't wanna
I don't wanna, I don't wanna
I don't wanna wait in vain
I don't wanna, I don't wanna
I don't wanna, I don't wanna
I don't wanna wait in vain

It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
Ooh, boy, ooh, boy, is it crazy? Look, I wanna know now
Like I said-
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waiting
While I'm waiting for my turn

You see-
Ooh, boy, ooh, boy, is it crazy? Look, I wanna know now
For I to knock some more
In life I know there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief

- Collide - 

Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
You somehow find, you and I collide

Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide         
- Far Away - 
Nickelback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

[CHORUS]
           
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me 
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if 
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
Cause you know, you know, you know
          
[CHORUS]
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me 
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if 
I don't see you anymore
So far away
(So far away) 
Far away for far too long
So far away
(So far away)
been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know 
All I wanted
I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed
I need to hear you say:
that I love you
(I love you)
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
(and I forgive you)
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me...never let me go
(Keep breathing)
Hold on to me...never let me go
(Keep breathing)
Hold on to me...never let me go

3 in 1

Talk about nightmares and weird dreams.. I think I should make having my dreams useful, write a book or a screenplay.. mwahaha too much work.. i had 3 dreams today.. all in one morning.. 1 before 7am and 2 in the span of 2 hours...

Documented Dream 3 - today

Scene 1: white room, white walls, white tables and chairs.. even the actor and actress was wearing white.. it was like a dream sequence.. I was peering through a door that was ajar... The guy was giving the girl a box, a gift for her... he was trying to be sweet to her but she was upset, then they were arguing.. and that's the last time she will be seen by anyone..

Scene 2: He had been accused of killing her, yet they didn't prove anything, he never got convicted.. years later he still carries the grudge of everyone, thinking that he killed her and hid her somewhere... new school, new people, new year.. he still walks alone, eats alone and talks to no one yet one girl caught his eye.. she was nice, vibrant and kind.. she reminded him of her... he wanted a new life.. turn a new page.. yet the past still lurks behind him... everyone still knows about the lost gf... she was nice, they talked, he got the life in his eyes back... yet the past, the past still haunted him.. he wanted to know what happened to her too yet he can't do anything coz everyone had their eyes on him...

scene 3: she had friends, lots of them.. they wanted to help her coz she was falling for him and she needed to know what happened... they went on a search, the new girl, her best friend and the guy who likes her(don't worry she doesn't like him back, they've been friends forever).. they were searching for clues, where the old gf was.. is she still alive, are the stories true... the all went out to different parts of the city.. they found clues and information and all of it led them to this place in front of the barber shop/ice cream parlour( i just know that the place had one of those stripe thingies that you see in ice cream and barber shops).. and they all ended up with the conclusion that they should go to the guy's house and ask him about the box that everyone is talking about...

scene 4: at the guy's house the guy's parents are surprised when they see three people at the door looking for their son.. they know he doesn't have friends and now all of a sudden he has 3.. the parents get curious and asked why they were all there... they said they were tryng to prove that he was innocent.. that according to the clues they collected they believed he was.. and that everything pointed them to the box and if they look inside they will know.. so there they were with the box.. they just got it in their hands when the guy comes in and sees they have it.. he got surprised and tried to get it back from them.. it was the last thing they had before she disappeared... he didn't want to be reminded.. no more memories.. it made him sad.. can't they see that.. they were tugging.. all of them.. but because the package's box somehow became soft coz of some unknown moisture, the box was torn apart and it fell to the floor.. inside was a doll.. it was his gift to her.. he picked it out specially for her because he knew she loved dolls.. but he didn't notice there was something underneath it.. there was something gray..it looked like ashes... they didn't know where they came from.. it was never there when it was wrapped..
   
scene 5: museum/anthropology dept/something with bones and dinosaurs bldg...there was a big dinosuar skeleton propped up inside a glass case on the landing of the stairs they were at.. they just talked to the professor and he told them that the gray stuff wasn't ashes it was pencil shavings... but on the landing as they were talking they all asked each other if they were pencil shavings why were they gray... something dawned on them.. the professor was lying... he was hiding something from them.. - then i woke up -


Documented Dream 4 - 7am to 9am - yes I was late for work =P

I was trying to make the dream continue.. I usually had dreams, especially the scary ones continue until the morning...but it didn't.. this time I was part of a white family, big house, white neighborhood, white christmas setting...This guy in my dream was a friend and he was courting me and we never became an item but he still came to our place just to chill, watch movies and just be there.. then one day he turns psycho on me when there was just me and a little brother.. he tries to lock me up inside coz he said since I didn't want him I can't have anyone else(ugh men and their dialogue).. the idiot told me to hold onto a rope coz he was gonna tie me with that.. idiot that he is, he was locking everything up except the front door which of course me and my baby brother used to escape with... then he started shooting.. and of course i was like across the street already and running away from him.. i was warning everyone to stay away from our house coz he was there...ugh.. talk about stupid mwahaha...
       

Documented Dream 5 - part of the 7am to 9am dream

And you think you can only have 1 dream in 1 night mwahaha.. Usually my dreams have segments, sorta like short stories.. so here's the third installment... omg this post is tooooo long.. anyway.. so there I was camping with alot of friends and one of my friends from Canada came and was camping with us.. so I was supposed to take him to the Long Beach airport, don't know why my dream chose that then as I was driving down the freeway they announced that the freeway going to long beach was being closed, there are some areas that are open but most of them are closed.. and I was looking at this high tech real time map and it shows you which areas and entrances to the freeways are closed... and which are open.. which made me think that if it were my bf driving he'd know where to go and he'll get there fast.. thinking that we landed in the Long Beach pier mwahaha... talk about me getting lost.. I think that happens rarely now coz I think I kinda memorized most of the street already...uhm near my house mwahaha...


  so there you go 3 dreams in 1 day... whew that took a long time for me to write mwahaha...

Breaking up

I seem to have alot of dreams these days, does it mean that I sleep well.. I don't think so coz most of my dreams occur when I sleep less than 8 hours...

Documented dream 2- sunday's dream

I knew it was me in this dream but it was just like a movie where other people portrayed our characters..anyway...  I dreamt he was cheating on me and it took a while for me to learn about it.. the girl lived in front of our house so I never suspected anything... I was going to school with her so it was normal for her to go home with me... I was at the bus stop where I usually waited for my bf and he sent his best friend there.. i didn't like him coz I new he had a thing for me and the only reason he became friends with my bf was to be close to me.. He said he was sent there to tell me that my bf wasn't coming and that he was gonna take me home.. I said no, never mind, I'll just wait for the bus... This went on for a few weeks and I asked my bf why he kept sending his clone.. he said he was busy.. one day he picked me up and she was there too.. he told me to get off first and he'll drop her off last then he'll just park the car and go to my house.. i asked him why won't he just drop her off first since he's coming to my house anyway.. they had this look between them.. so I suspected them.. and his bestfriend kept on insisting i just ride home with him which was weird... and i asked my bf about it so he said that he was talking with her coz his best friend liked her alot and they were getting serious and he was helping them.. the next scene was a church.. i was invited to their wedding.. my bf and his best friend were already in front and they were waiting for the bride.. all along i thought it was the best friend and the girl getting married.. when she got to the altar she took my bfs hand and they were getting married.. I was like.. wtf.. and the best friend was looking at me sadly like he wishes he could have done something.. then i asked him why.. why marry her and not me... he said she didn't have papers and he wanted to help her.. i said why not help me.. did you ever think of helping me.. did you ever think about me...he said coz i'm already settled and I have papers and can do what I want... I kept crying... then i woke up.. sad and all cried out...

I hate dreams like this... I feel helpless and I can't do anything..


---08/01/2014 It was all real...as far as the marrying and the girl goes....

Super Hero

It's been a long time since I've had the super hero dreams... Yeah and I'm always the super hero/martial artist/guru/whatever you call those people who need to save people... oh but in my dreams I don't have super powers.. I just always could run faster than everyone and jump from not so great heights and not get hurt..

Documented Dream 1

anyway, on to my story... in this dream I was running after this very rich doctor who took a baby, don't really know if the baby was mine or I was just there to retrieve the baby from him... anyway so there I was in a very big and nice building looking for him.. the stairs were wide.. the halls were white and pristine just like a regular hospital but as you went higher and higher on the floors(don't know why I wasn't using the elevator but I wasn't getting tired so it was ok) it gets darker and gloomier, sorta like the silent hill type of hospitals(hahaha too much horror movies).. anyway I kept asking people where he was and if they knew what was happening and no one was paying any attention.. they didn't even know he took the kid. So there I was running up the stairs looking for him when suddenly there he was with a gun pointed at me he ordered me to go down the stairs.. it's weird, my dreams, I'm supposed to be the one saving people yet I have no gun... just when I was starting to fight back and I think get a gun i wake up.. nice hehehe...

braces

the perfect diet plan: braces

instant weight loss, you'd even choke on noodle soup mwhaha... omg, it's so gruesome i can't even start to talk about it.. i salute everyone who ever wore braces.. the first few days i had it i wanted to take them off.. everything hurt... my teeth which were being forced to move this way and that way.. the insides of my mouth...omg that hurt the most, thanks to the ortho wax i was able to cover everything that snagged and felt sharp... you should have seen me with the ortho wax i think i tried to cover each and everyone of my tooth with it.. it was like i had rice or food stuck on my braces all the time.. ewwwww
   
i'm gonna have this for 2 years so hopefully by then i'd get used to it but then again i hope i won't so i won't forget that i can't eat alot and i can't eat anything hard so i can continue with losing as much weight as when i got them.. i think i lost 7 lbs hahaha... i need to lose ten more.. uhm let's see when my next appointment is.. hmmm... please tighten them again mwahahaha..

no soup for you...(soup natzi-seinfeld)

envy

It's ironic sometimes that sometimes the people you think you hate/envy most are the ones who think most highly of you.. these people recognize and acknowledge your strengths and your capabilities... these people you envy don't really have what you're envying them for... and sometimes they don't even realize that you're envious of them.. just like anger the only person affected is the person who is angry/envious.. you can sulk all you want but nothing will happen because the other party doesn't know anything.. and most of the time anger/envy consumes the affected person and he/she doesn't realize that it's consuming their life and they're not enjoying it anymore..

I watched "You are the one" a long time ago and in the movie Sally is envious of her sister, she has this line where she talks about her and says that her sister is prettier than her, smarter than her and more successful than her and that most of the time she strives to be at least the nice one but nobody appreciates this, they think that her sister is still nicer than her.. which of course was in her head.. it consumed her so much that she wanted to be far away from her sister as much as she can, that the only reason they wanted her to go to the states was to become a maid coz that's the only think she can do... if you we 're watching the movie you'd sympathize with her, i cried when she was crying about this, i was thinking i'd probably feel the same if they were mean to me like this too, but they were'ent mean to her she was just imagining it.. when she became mad that her sister was meddling too much in her life.. she said it all, all her hurt and pain and anguish.. her sister told her she wasnt ugly, she had her own job and neither was she stupid... her sister also asked her if it was her fault that she was herself... she said that she loved her so much but she can't help it if she feels that way and the only reason they tried to make her come to the states is because they didn't want to be apart from her.. they didn't want their small family to be away from each other..

it's sad that sometimes you have to walk in someone else's shoe to realize that whatever hurt/anger/envy you imagine wasn't really what the other person intended you to feel.. and that sometimes people help or call the most unfortunate relatives more than they call you because they are the ones that most need of your support and shutting them out does not only hurt them but it hurts you more..

watch it!

It's been a while since I've been here... it's not that I don't have anything to say(believe me if you know me, i have to have a say on everything.. hahaha), its just that i've been too cautious on what i wanted to write here.. sometimes i want to rant but then i think first.. is he/she on my list? will they read about it.. will they know it's them..

what once i thought was my haven for belting out my feelings has now become a place where i have to watch my word, which for me means i'm not that free anymore on what i write here.. not that i'm at a row with anyone right now but still i feel like i have to watch every word i say... maybe i should start using myspace.... hmm.. nah.. more people to watch out there for mwahhaa...

oh btw:

congratulations jovie!!! wishing u all the best in yer married life..

mike - i would have loved to be there on your first cooking experience but then again i think i have alot to be thankful for mwahahah...

louie - take care on ur way to work.. try to watch out for sink holes.. take care...

Sometimes I think we set our expectations too high that most of the time we rule out the possibility of disappointment. People, weather and most of the time choices are the factors that affect the outcome of situations. I've heard this line one too many times before, people that you care for hurt you the most. It's amazing how you count on people that you think you can count on and they're the one's who disappoint you. They disappoint you not once, twice or thrice but far more times than you can count on your fingers. It's just crazy that I know it's gonna happen yet there I am out in the open like a matador waiting for the bull to charge, doing nothing, just starting the bull in eye.

Just Because I want to say this: I'm just a phone call away. There is such a thing as voice mail. Cancellations are appreciated if done 1-2 days before, not 2 hours, 5 hours or just before the event.

On a lighter note: "When a door closes another door opens" Never did I expect one of my very OLD(hahaha we're old) friends to come and visit me for my bday... I know he's not really coming for me alone but hey I'll grab the opportunity I can get in seeing him again.. MIKE is gonna be here on my bday wahooo.. aherm.. Louie do you want to come too? hehehe..

Dao Ming Si for breakfast, lunch and dinner

I never imagined myself staying at home watching movies all day last weekend. I volunteered to help with Marlyn's bday though I don't think I was much of a help aside from just bring the food from our house to her house, I just baked her her favorite marble brownies. So in between I was watching Meteor Garden, yes I know it's been long over but after seeing it several times while I was searching for the chinese drama series Mars(Barbie Xu and Vic Zhou were here too) I decided to watch it and see what the craze was all about, well it got me hooked. I planned to watch only the first part, the middle and the last part.. I didn't think I'd get hooked with the movie after Shan Cai tried to have not only a relationship with Dao Ming Si but Huaze Lei as well. I was thinking tramp, tramp, tramp when Lei and her were kissing on the beach. I hate 2 timers so I watched the ending and I learned she would end up with Dao Ming Si, so I was like ok let me watch where they would be an item again.. and before I knew it I was 19 episodes into the series and it was almost midnight.. the series had 27 episodes and had 2 parts for every episode except the last one which had 3 parts in it.

For those who don't know the F4, who remember the F4 and who still love the F4 let me give you an idea who they are... In this picture they are Xi Men, Dao Ming Si, Mei zuo and Huaze Lei, well I think that's how their names are spelled. These guys are all yummy mwahaha...  Each and everyone has their own personality and I can say all of them will do for my bf if I didn't already have one mwahhaa... but I love dao ming si the best. He's like your average stupid guy, clueless, possesive, and cute.  Huaze Lei has a cute smile and a charming personality he has good schemes too but he loves someone else and is devoted to her until he dies. Xi Men is the positive driving force in this group. I like his smile too =). Mei Zuo is the loyal companion to everyone. He's the smiley, let's all always be friends, keeping it together kind of guy.  

I think I watched too much of this show for 1 day, I dreamt about them last saturday mwahhaa.. dao ming si! dao ming si! well this romance series is a feel good movie only if you watch it 'til the end. I can just imagine my anticipation everyday if I had to watch it like everyone else. Either I watch it religiously or I lost interest immediately. I can't watch romance series that you have to follow each week, I think I have A.D.D. when it comes to shows like these. I lose interest after a while and I just watch the ending mwahahaha... coz sometimes they are just way tooo long...


 I remember this line from the series where dao ming si declares that he will follow shan cai wherever she goes... sigh... it makes me  remember the movie what dreams may come...

what's nice with the korean and chinese movies/ series is that there may be kissing scenes but they're sweet and soft, sometimes having no kissing scenes at all makes it better to watch coz it hightens the anticipation that these 2 main characters should be together already... it also makes you watch more and follow the story more closely.

It's just disappointing that having watched all these korean and chinese shows I can see where the flips have no originality, not only do they copy the looks of the artists (deither you have no originality, tho I can say it looked good on him for awhile before he looked like he was anorexic), they copy the mannerisms and also some of the lines... I was talking to mari the other day and we were saying it's sloppy how we make movies coz if you're gonna copy the movie, just go copy it from start to finish coz it's tasteless that you copy some parts from the show which is supposed to be one of the "kilig" moments and you just slap it onto a movie where it looks like it came from nowhere and just landed there... most of the scenes don't even fit the movie or nothing in the previous episodes could lead to what they are showing on the scene right now... here's an example richard gere walking barefoot on the grass in pretty woman while he was thinking what he was gonna do with his life... aga doing the same thing in one of his movies where there were no scenes whatsoever that the couple even went to the park... grr originality pls.. and recently I was watching some of the young stars and there it slaps you in the face, the whole dialog was similar to the one I just saw the previous night... it's amazing nobody has tried to copy il mare back home yet... please! don't do it... have some pride... obviously the people who copied them here in the states didn't have any, pride or imagination, both I say mwahahaha.. ah let me end with this i'm gonna be lake house bashing again mwahhaa.. that movie is whack! watch il mare mwahaha...

Concert Series

I thought it was just gonna be another uneventful Saturday for me last weekend until I remembered I was going to the Tyrone Wells concert(yes sis you're not the only one excited about concerts.. i'm sorry if you're tired reading about my endless tyrone wells lyrics blog. DEAL WITH IT! mwahaha).. So there I was contemplating on what I would be wearing to concert coz it was really cold when Jun called and told me he had tickets for the Clippers game at 12:30. Yay! I've never been to the Staples center to watch a game, I went there when they opened the halls to sell jerseys and all that stuff but I wanted the action of a game (I miss the green archers..) and there I was getting my wish.. ooo i should write that on my things to do.. anyway so we watched the Clippers against the Grizzlies and we won wahoo, 112 to 91. It was  a good game coz they won mwahahaha... well if we didn't it would have still been good coz we were on area 115, row 14, seat 3-5.. it was close and my new camera phone took good pictures.. oh thanks to sherwin for the tickets...

tyrone wells concert...

allen and i decided to meet early so we could be near the front so we met at his apartment around 7 which gave us ample to time to look for very good parking and line up behind all the older people who weren't interested in staying anywhere near the front, they wanted to be up at the mezzanine and be seated.. yay! so there we were waiting in line until they opened the gates at 8pm and I was thinking I think I brought the wrong jacket again, yes I have been here for 5 long freakin' years and I still can't get the right jacket for the right weather, I always end up either getting frozen or too heated up... and on this case it was getting hotter by the minute hehehe... so we saw mark, tyrone's drummer/marketing mgr i think, he was schmoozing with the people in front, the whole band was good at that making people feel not only good coz of the music but coz they were ubber nice...

so when they let us in I told allen I wanted to be the front, where if you wanted you could have gone up the stage, that's where I want to be at concerts, IN THE FRONT. not only do you have a place where you can put your stuff but u can lean on the stage too, you don't have to tire your legs out alot...=)


the concert started with Mikey G and Dan from Danville and I can say that whoever chose them to start the show didn't make a mistake in choosing them, they were very good, the music was soothing, refreshing and it was something you'd want to listen to again and again, too bad they didn't have cd's to sell. Of course picture freak that I was I took pictures, not only coz I liked the group but one guy reminded me of jun(hoi oteli ano d ba kamukha mo siya =) ). There were 3 of them so I don't know if it was mike or dan I didn't take a picture of. sorry, I couldn't see who he was out of all the blond guys there, the other 2 stood out coz one was asian and looked like my friend and the other had dark hair and he looked kinda like clark kent...

there were only 2 acts for the night before tyrone, so after the all guy group came the all girl group.. I can't stop raving about these chicks.. they're called raining jane..they were awesome, their music was good.. each girl had her own thing happening, mai had her cello which hypnotized you to listen(or was it only coz i was in front of her that she was able to hypnotize me) and her ethereal voice which captivates you, becky had her sitar which added a different sound to every song they played with it, chaska had her awesome guitar skills and her angelic voice, then there was mona with her awesome drumming skills, not only that but she had a whole different expression when she was playing the drums and the cajon... i listened to them on myspace when i learned they were performing with tyrone and i can say i liked their music on myspace, i loved them live.. it was awesome...

omg every tyrone wells concert i went to, well that counts 2 now has been well worth the wait... 2 hrs i think mwahhaa.. i love him performing.. ey sis i have a new tyrone story for you...so he was telling us this story before he sang sea breeze.. he said he was performing at one of those swap meets and there was this girl on a phone saying out loud, girl you should hear this guy here he's singing sea breeze, so tyrone asked her who she thought it was that wrote the song.. and she said my friend sean, shawn(who knows) wrote it for my best friend.. so tyrone told her no, i wrote that song together with my friend, and after a while of arguing who wrote the song it dawned on the girl that all along sean was lying and that he just copied the song and told them it was his, and so she was saying, he better not tell me he wrote another song that you sang... and tyrone asked her what other songs did he give you, she said another song that he wrote.. hehehe... i forgot what it was.. hehehe...so there after 3 days i still have my tyrone high hehehe... i love his songs.. oh there will be an album launching on February 6, wahoo..

this whole tyrone high is just like my parokya high.. i just gotta watch it and i just gotta have it(the music that is) mwahhaa.. so here you go...parokya with bamboo on march 17, 2007 at the avalon.. see you there... mga lola agahan natin para sa harap tayo ulit mwahhaa... scratch the info on my brother's gig on the 17th, it's gonna be on the 11th.. so come one come all and help support my brother's band at the gig on melrose...