envy

It's ironic sometimes that sometimes the people you think you hate/envy most are the ones who think most highly of you.. these people recognize and acknowledge your strengths and your capabilities... these people you envy don't really have what you're envying them for... and sometimes they don't even realize that you're envious of them.. just like anger the only person affected is the person who is angry/envious.. you can sulk all you want but nothing will happen because the other party doesn't know anything.. and most of the time anger/envy consumes the affected person and he/she doesn't realize that it's consuming their life and they're not enjoying it anymore..

I watched "You are the one" a long time ago and in the movie Sally is envious of her sister, she has this line where she talks about her and says that her sister is prettier than her, smarter than her and more successful than her and that most of the time she strives to be at least the nice one but nobody appreciates this, they think that her sister is still nicer than her.. which of course was in her head.. it consumed her so much that she wanted to be far away from her sister as much as she can, that the only reason they wanted her to go to the states was to become a maid coz that's the only think she can do... if you we 're watching the movie you'd sympathize with her, i cried when she was crying about this, i was thinking i'd probably feel the same if they were mean to me like this too, but they were'ent mean to her she was just imagining it.. when she became mad that her sister was meddling too much in her life.. she said it all, all her hurt and pain and anguish.. her sister told her she wasnt ugly, she had her own job and neither was she stupid... her sister also asked her if it was her fault that she was herself... she said that she loved her so much but she can't help it if she feels that way and the only reason they tried to make her come to the states is because they didn't want to be apart from her.. they didn't want their small family to be away from each other..

it's sad that sometimes you have to walk in someone else's shoe to realize that whatever hurt/anger/envy you imagine wasn't really what the other person intended you to feel.. and that sometimes people help or call the most unfortunate relatives more than they call you because they are the ones that most need of your support and shutting them out does not only hurt them but it hurts you more..