Too much of nina

I think I had too much of nina.. she's transferring her energy to me which makes me sigh alot these days...

who knows maybe I miss Jun or maybe not...

Is it really rare for a guy to say I miss you a girl most of the time? I was talking to one of my guy best friends and he's like you should be happy he says that he misses you it's rare for guys these days to admit that they miss you... I don't know writing something is different from saying... I just feel blah and I'm getting something different from this time away from one another... In short I don't miss him as much as I thought I would.. I think I need more time away now with me on vacation too.. coz you see it's hard when people ask how he is and I can't give a concrete answer coz not only is he not enthusiastic to talk to on the phone but we don't have any stories to swap anymore.. it's been just blah.. when I'm anxious to talk to him and tell him my stories he has something else to top it off with that's more depressing or more awesome mine can't compare and I'd just clam up and not talk about it.. I didn't notice it before but were we like this even before he left? sigh.. I can't even talk to anyone close to me right now everyone's busy I just want to break down and cry.. cry coz im so tired of this job.. cry coz i want a vacation i can't have.. cry because im so tired i just want to lie on the beach and do nothing.. sigh... I'm 30 and I think I'm having my mid life crisis hahaha... sigh...