Lately i've been miserable.. most specially at work... small things have begun to bug me, people and their attitudes started to get to me and it came to a point that i just didnt want to be there... ive never felt this way before, i dread waking up each morning because that meant i had to go to work. I would make up any excuse at night just to extend it, make me very tired so i can sleep and just forget i have work tomorrow.. It was that bad...
Then i watched perks of being a wallflower and loved it, so now I'm reading the book and I'm loving it more, there was one word that caught my attention in the book and the movie, it said PARTICIPATE.
I felt so sad and miserable at work I forgot how to participate, all I want to do these days is stay at home, lay down and play with my violin, at least that makes me feel inspired i can do something new....
maybe it had something to do with my birthday too, im not sure but I've always been sad around my birthday, it was horrible, I had five years with this guy and he would always forget about my birthday, despite me planning events or things to do on my birthday, he would either schedule his car to be fixed or spend time with his friends on my birthday...and this happened every yeary... it scarred me a lot.. I know I had friends and family, but it made me sad that that one person I counted on to be happy with me wanted to be happy with his car...
But of course my story doesn't end there, thankfully. These past few years I spent with my husband has been wonderful we have one grand celebration for both our birthdays because they're so close together. One year we went to Utah to snowboard, last year we had a party at our apt, this year we went to Morro Bay, got scolded by a huge Sea Lion and had fun.
But this is not why I'm writing this. I love to ride my bike and go biking with Mike during warm days but because I've been focusing on being miserable we haven't been participating.
Thanks to Madeline for reminding me that Ciclavia was last Sunday, I've heard about it but they never came to Culver City before, carting the bikes around is a bit of a hassle when there are no parking spaces, and its usually a hassle to go to downtown LA. But this time around they would pass by our neighborhood to go to the beach, yay! We've done this bike ride before but its not easy when people with their cars want to take the opportunity to tell you how you're being an inconvenience using the bike lane by trying swipe you whenever they can. This time they closed one side of Venice just for bikers, yay!
The photo bug in me was screaming... let me out, let me take pictures.. but I decided I wanted to participate instead, maybe next year we'll start out early so I can take pictures. Or like what the others were doing I have to learn how to ride my bike with no hands and use it for my camera.
This is how I'm going to participate, bike my way though every event, if I can hehehe... though I have events like Color me Rad and the Train concert scheduled in the near futue, I want more. I think this is the year we try all the things we want to do, Mike has started his RC Heli projects and he's happy with them, I'm learning the violin and if I suck at it then I can say at least I tried to learn it, but so far my teacher says she's happy with my progress, I'm just happy I don't scare the cat nyahahaha...
Ok so I will start this blog again and show my participation, I know its the other way around, less blog, more participation but I realize now while writing this that I may have participated more that I thought I had, I was just focused on moping around like the cat. Writing helps me remember the happy times. It takes my mind away from people who want to ruin my day.
Then i watched perks of being a wallflower and loved it, so now I'm reading the book and I'm loving it more, there was one word that caught my attention in the book and the movie, it said PARTICIPATE.
I felt so sad and miserable at work I forgot how to participate, all I want to do these days is stay at home, lay down and play with my violin, at least that makes me feel inspired i can do something new....
maybe it had something to do with my birthday too, im not sure but I've always been sad around my birthday, it was horrible, I had five years with this guy and he would always forget about my birthday, despite me planning events or things to do on my birthday, he would either schedule his car to be fixed or spend time with his friends on my birthday...and this happened every yeary... it scarred me a lot.. I know I had friends and family, but it made me sad that that one person I counted on to be happy with me wanted to be happy with his car...
But of course my story doesn't end there, thankfully. These past few years I spent with my husband has been wonderful we have one grand celebration for both our birthdays because they're so close together. One year we went to Utah to snowboard, last year we had a party at our apt, this year we went to Morro Bay, got scolded by a huge Sea Lion and had fun.
But this is not why I'm writing this. I love to ride my bike and go biking with Mike during warm days but because I've been focusing on being miserable we haven't been participating.
Thanks to Madeline for reminding me that Ciclavia was last Sunday, I've heard about it but they never came to Culver City before, carting the bikes around is a bit of a hassle when there are no parking spaces, and its usually a hassle to go to downtown LA. But this time around they would pass by our neighborhood to go to the beach, yay! We've done this bike ride before but its not easy when people with their cars want to take the opportunity to tell you how you're being an inconvenience using the bike lane by trying swipe you whenever they can. This time they closed one side of Venice just for bikers, yay!
The photo bug in me was screaming... let me out, let me take pictures.. but I decided I wanted to participate instead, maybe next year we'll start out early so I can take pictures. Or like what the others were doing I have to learn how to ride my bike with no hands and use it for my camera.
This is how I'm going to participate, bike my way though every event, if I can hehehe... though I have events like Color me Rad and the Train concert scheduled in the near futue, I want more. I think this is the year we try all the things we want to do, Mike has started his RC Heli projects and he's happy with them, I'm learning the violin and if I suck at it then I can say at least I tried to learn it, but so far my teacher says she's happy with my progress, I'm just happy I don't scare the cat nyahahaha...
Ok so I will start this blog again and show my participation, I know its the other way around, less blog, more participation but I realize now while writing this that I may have participated more that I thought I had, I was just focused on moping around like the cat. Writing helps me remember the happy times. It takes my mind away from people who want to ruin my day.
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